jottings
A couple of items of note from yesterday.. While FT and I entered the boat.. (I made sure we where on opposites sides of the boat that reminds me of Montgomery J who was recently on a cruise in the Caribbean SHip perhaps he should position himself amidships on the boat. ) FT decides on a course of action to meet new people from the company.. (We where all given two drink tickets) He says to me "Hey let's try and get to the alcoholics first" I am dumb so it took me awhile but it came to me he could pick out the people drinking soda and somehow make idle chit chat and bring up the fact they where not drinking to lure the alcoholics into giving him the tickets to not make an issue of them not drinking.. (Disgusting but a good plan) but as usual the privileged people like FT don't pay anything.
JLO Blog
JLO Your use of the English language is loquacious and I marvel at the ease that it spews from your keyboard. I am not worthy of posting with you on the same blog/server/service/subnet/Uunet/internet.. My nascarish blog would be humbled by you and your vast vernacular.. That said the term for Poly-blog is a team blog and it is possible at this site.. I would be more than happy to turn this blog into one of those but it might risk losing the personal Heavydness of the blog and people would wonder when they start seeing articulate posts using appropriate syntax and spelling as well as proper use of the English languageÂ… So send me your posts and I will post them with my post for the day or on its own..
Welcome JLO
I think I need to appropriately introduce JLO.. I don't know the origin of the LO part of his name since it has become apart of his name like kleenex is to tissue or rotund one is to me but if he would like to post on where that came from I think it would help us truly understand JLO.. Where do I start since I have known JLO for so long.. He is an avid hunter (not really but it brings up a great story that kinda sums up JLO). JLO was 17 or so and I was 15 at the time (this is important) and we had duck hunted a few times (I was dumber then I hate duck hunting now) without much luck.(That could be due to the fact that we never wore camouflage and sat in a silver fishing boat without any cover) other than irritating every duck hunter within range.. Well JLO and myself had heard about people that would do something called pond jumping (which really meant that you drove around and looked for a small body of water and would sneak up on it and jump the ducks) well JLO and I start trying this without any luck at all but we keep seeing these recurring them where when we would jump the ducks they would circle and fly to this one general area so after a few hours of this we thought we would try and go to this area.. Well as we approached the duck gathering point we realized that we where entering a wild life conservation area where bird watchers and the like would observer waterfowl.. Well we decided to go in and see what was in there.. It was unbelievable there where ducks all over this pretty small pond/swamp area right next to the road. Well we smiled at the people looking at the fowl and jumped back into our car and continued to pond jump.. Well are luck was worse than before and we hadn't fired a round in a few hours and the sun was setting quickly.. I am not sure who thought of it first since we where both out of the same cloth at this point of our lives.. But we quickly came up with a plan.. We drove by the "viewing area" again and noticed no one was parked there any longer..Well JLO being the Alpha that he is and will always be had the insight to pull in and convince me that it was a brilliant idea to see if he could get a shot before anyone saw us..(Wow we where idiots)
I don't want to change this story but I think I said that maybe we shouldn't but I am not sure.. But I was not smart enough to convince JLO otherwise.. Instead I jumped behind the wheel of the getaway car.(Note it always the dumb guy in the get away car) which was our first offense since I was 15. JLO( I am not sure of all the facts on this one.) either points the gun out the window or stands in the open door of the car and readies himself) My job is to make sure no one sees us.. This isn't good we have underage driver behind the wheel of a car parked at a wild life observatory and I am supposed to be looking for people.. What would we do if someone pulled up (This is embarrassing I would kill my kids for doing this) we where all in as soon as JLO stood there in his full metal jacket.. Well JLO picked out a flock of ducks (Damn it Dad I said flock.. That is an inside 20 yr old joke please ignore) and fired I am not sure how many times now or if it was only once but it scared the death out of me and the thousands of ducks which immediately flew up.. JLO hopped in the car and we speed away hoping noticed the black cloud of fowl that was flying up behind us as we sped out on the highway with unlicensed driver behind the wheel.. (I am glad they didn't have cameras then) I am quite certain having hunted with JLO a few times and given the circumstances that no feather was touched that day.. (no fowl was injured during the telling of this story).. Again JLO my facts are almost always incorrect but they are my own so if I am telling this incorrectly I can't apologize because that is how I remember it.. But I think when you read JLO comments and posts from this point forward it will give you a frame reference that although I am still that dumb JLO was once as dumb..
I am hungry
FAT OUT
7 comments:
D,
You were driving, but I was sixteen and you were fourteen. It was a roll down the window, drive-by, and I didn't hit a thing as you might imagine (two shots from dad's rusty double barrel, that just reverberated in the station wagon when I fired, and my ears rang for a few hours). Oh...and the really funny (or sad) thing is...we were out in the middle of the country at this park...you were driving on a stretch of winding, paved road about a mile long, mowed grass on both sides, park benches at each little duck pond, and they actually had GUMBALL MACHINES dispensing peanuts or something for the thousands of ducks that were arrogant enough to think they'd survived another Minnesota duck season. When it became obvious that I'd missed all 2000 ducks swimming lazily, about 20 feet in front of me (although as a defensive notion, I remind the gentle reader that the car was creeping along at about 5 miles per hour, and I might have failed to adjust for adequate windage and elevation, and there is the fog of war and adrenaline factor to consider)...I yelled "take-off!!!" You took-off and as you got to the end of the paved road (at the park entrance) a cop car drove into the park, and blew right past us. I screemed something like, "hit it", and you took off like a fourteen-year-old having committed his first underage felony...oh wait...you just had...we drove around for hours (after switching drivers) wondering if the cop guy would radio in our car information, etc., and nab us. It was somewhere northeast of St. Boni, just before sundown, that we saw this huge whitetail buck run across the road and into a little grove of trees, right across from a farmer's homestead. I had two deer slugs, and it was the first or second week in November (so it was probably past duck season anyway), and I think one of us had a deer license...and we tossed the idea around of asking the farmer for permission to go into his stand of trees and take the buck. We decided against that, and went back to my neighborhood, where we staked-out my house for several minutes, looking to see if there were any cop cars lurking in my neighborhood, waiting to arrest JLO and his cohort as we returned from the big hunt.
This has to be in my top ten category of the dumbest things I ever did as a kid while hunting (unfortunately, I have several categories to select from as a kid)...but despite what other's might say D...you gotta admit, it was fun as hell, wasn't it!!!
I agree with you though, if my kids did something like that, or some of the other moronic things we did, I think I'd hop in the car, head west, and keep drivin' 'til the pavement ended!
Hope as the blog master you'll consider introducing the whole GW XIV gang.
Peace-out,
JLO
I'm in shock!!!
I don't believe what you did and the results. Especially the part where you said no fowl was hurt in the telling of this story.
How many chickens we eaten during the writing of this blog.
Foolish montgomery J ... Your posts always reveal you.. Don't ever gamble..
Anonymous,
To the best of my recollection, the story is absolutely true. It's interesting, because I shoot some trap and sporting clays now, and I'm not a great shooter, but I'm relatively decent. But back then, almost 23 years ago, I couldn't hit a still target...and that day I swear I didn't hit a single bird. D and I used to go out in my dad's Lund (silver and red fishing boat) and try to pull into the reeds a bit (usually just AFTER sunrise), but the ducks generally saw us and would not approach within 50 yards of our metalic warning beacon. I remember one weekend, on a real overcast, low-cloud day, actually getting some shooting in, and going through two full boxes (myself), without hitting so much as a coot. It's amazing I could even get D to go out hunting with me as bad as my shooting was, except in our hometown as a kid, you could hunt, play sports, or stay home and stare at the walls. You'd almost wonder back then, if I was a plant for PETA.
For a real hunter though...look no further than D's brother C...now that guy was a hunter...he had a real sense about him in the woods, and I had the pleasure of hunting squirrels and pheasants with him a few times on his family's land...you should have met this guy...super smooth, eh D...If I recall correctly, D's other brother told me that about ten years back, C was deer hunting up in northern Minnesota, was smoking and fell asleep. When the butt got a little close to his lips he woke up, saw a nice deer in front of him, and took that sucker down...solid gold that guy!!!
Regards,
JLO
jlo
Was the attraction to D in anyway related to the pork chop his parents put around his neck so the dog would play with him?
PS It was reduced to only half a bone after 15 minutes of D gnawing on it
I'm sorry. That's probably a little too mean for a Friday.
Monty,
The attraction, if we want to label it as such, relates to D's and his brother's (let's call his next older brother...DB) 1978 VW Rabbit, and the fact that instead of paying for things like movies, food, etc., Heavy and his brother DB would except other forms of currency during our adventures, including legal tender derived from the use of my father's gas credit card. That and Mama D's killer spaghetti round out the "attraction".
JLO over...
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