Ohh getting ready for weekend 298 mi (about 6 hours 4 mins) each way..
I have my pod loaded with movies and I have a new book to read.. So I should be good to go..
Even though I knew I was going I still fought going which was dumb know my wife is pissed at me and I am still traveling 12 hours in a car with her this weekend.. When will I learn..
Bus
FT(Fat Tim a new character in this blog) FT is a washed up former athlete like myself that still believes he is afletic because he can still dunk the basketball while still maintaining his porcine shape. He has been given everything in life.. Grew up in an affluent western suburb where all the guys names are skip and blake and attended an expensive private college all expenses paid.. And now has acreage near the st. croix..
Well when FT and I arrived at the Bus stop we attempted to hurry to the back off the bus to take get the seats where FT could stretch his belly and long legs on the seats that face the isle.. I just face the isle due to the sheer volume of space that I occupy.. Well as we took a tour through most of the Hindu and Muslim states while looking for our spot. (Does it alarm anyone when people of middle eastern heritage carry large full backups (it is not lunch) on a bus for a 20 minute drive.. I am not profiling just stating that I am aware of the risk and apparently am ok with it. it was a nice run ). So FT grabs a seat on one side and I grab a few seats on the other side of the bus so we are facing each other trust me this is important to the story(Seriuosly when I sit I occupy a minimum of two seats.. ) Well I case the entire bus which is my normal activity(The next part really scares me about myself but its true) I have made up the life story of everyone around me and how they arrived on that bus this morning.. Well there is a man in his early 50's dressed in casual business attire sitting on the back seat of bus facing FT and he appears like a normal person who is wife stays with because her options are limited at this point in her life and he is tolerable but really a shell of his former self but is like a plant that has outgrown its usefulness but you keep it around because your used to it and it doesn't go outside of it's pot.(Damn I am weird) I examine this guy and notice that he is wrapping up his headphones and it appears he is winding them like he is trying to create the first giant ball of wire to match the twine guy in Darwin MN. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/MNDARtwine.html..
Well I notice that and start thinking of ways to restrain this guy while maintaining an exit strategy for myself on the bus.. Well out of the blue and for no apparent reason this guy looks down at his paper and an operatic voice he sings out PLEASE CLOSE THE WINDOW.. It is so loud that FT eyes spring open and I can see his Flight or Fight reflexes have kicked in and he looks at me and I think he is going to yell out "Lets Roll" but I am thinking who is the guy talking to because FT and I are the only ones on the back of the bus that can even understand english and it is limited at best.. Well he lets another blast at an even greater volume PLEASE CLOSE THE WINDOW.. Now I am just a little bit uneasy but I am quite certain he will attack FT first and that will give me ample time to lunge across the isle and put this poor miserable creature out of his and wife's misery with a well placed forearm to the throat.. Well apparently this man is sick of being ignored at home and on the bus so he gets starts this guttural obscenity stream of NOW THAT I GOT YOU F*&*&ING ATTENTION YOU SOB'S AND BLAH BLAH.. I missed the last part as I was reaching for the string to ring the bus driver to stop so I could get off the bus..(I am real tough) As I scurried off the bus I was trying to calculate how many years it would be before I started singing out on the bus..
I think this blog is step 1..
In an operatic voice PLEASE READ MY BLOG
To steal a lyric
If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm
And shook his leg
You'd notice him
If someone in a movie show
Yelled "fired in the second row,
This whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Should have been my name !!!!
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there!
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me walk right by me
And never know I'm there. . .
Suppose you was a little cat
Residin' in a person's flat
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?
You'd notice him
Suppose you was a woman wed
And sleepin' in a double bed beside one man for seven years
You'd notice him
A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human bein' next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You know who. . .
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there
Chicago Soundtrack Lyrics
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Artist: John C. Reilly Lyrics
Song: Mister Cellophane Lyrics
Heavy in IOWA out...
