The last post about M5 got my blood boiling so I am inspired to blog some this week.. As I sit hear typing this the sun is rising over the city skyline in Dusseldorf Germany I am staring out the window and my anger toward M5 has subsided a little so this post is going to be a little more difficult to do. The flight over here was very relaxing.. Well maybe a little too relaxing.. But it does bring to mind one of the great philosophical questions of this age.. If you fart with your head phones on and you can't hear it, can anyone else hear it.. Sort of a if the tree falls in the woods.... blah blah .. When I ride on the plane I constantly have headphones on to discourage anyone from feeling the need to strike up a conversation with me on 9 hour flight.. But with my usual pace of flatulence of 3-4 sharts an hour that leaves me with nearly 30 trips to the bathroom or 25 attempts try to sneak out a few during the commotion of serving drinks or dinner.. The guy next to me will usually ask the stewardess if his food has spoiled ( just kidding) But what usually happens is I drift of to sleep and blast away with nary a care in the world..
That thought brings back a funny story.. When my bro and I used to eat lunch everyday when we worked together a few years back.. Well lets just say the my bro has the family flatulence problem that I have.. We always ate at the company cafeteria that was cheap and generally had pretty good food. We opted to eat in the blue collar café just because we could eat without having to do the fake hi's to everyone we knew.. Anyway that sets the stage.. It was a hot day and the guys from the warehouse where just coming into the air-conditioning to relax before heading out again.
Well there is this big old guy we will call him Fred because it suits him perfectly.. Well Fred is wearing his company uniform that has been sweat through about 3 times already this morning and he didn't get any sleep because Martha kept complaining that Fred hadn't had the air conditioner serviced before the summer and her dad always took care of those things so she didn't have to worry about these issues and she hated being nag but if she didn't say something about it would never get done.. Let's just say life and the heat had gotten the better part of Fred and he just needed to relax but Martha constant nagging about the food he should eat had finally gotten through and Fred skipped the meat loaf and mash potatoes that day and opted for the pre-made salad..
Well back to the flatulence twins.. Bro looks at me and gets that goofy looks on his face that he was going to make magic happen.. He looks to the left and to the right to make sure the coast is clear.. But he does not see Fred sloshing his way directly behind him and he lays down a sulfur laden WMD and looks at me for acknowledgement.. I see Fred and raise my eyebrows so bro turns all the way around sees that Fred is going to sit as close to bros chair as Iraq is to Iran.. We both freeze and wonder if Fred will notice the mushroom cloud that is rising about him.. Sorta like wondering if I will order another cold German beer after dinner.. Fred flops himself down and stares at the plastic container containing the green poison salad that Martha is forcing him to eat after his bypass last fall.. Well just as Fred opens the lid just and just as the sulfur has made its way into his nostrils and all is quiet from the flatulence twins.. He then reels back and says to his buddy I think this salad has gone bad.. Smell it Bill it smells like shit as he pushes the green poison in his buddies face never realizing it was Bro's cabbage laden wonder he dropped 30 seconds earlier.. Bro and I are dying it will go down as one of the funniest events that I was ever party to..
Ok.... Back to today.. Pretty cool night last night.. It is the white asparagus season here so I had a meal of White asparagus soup and shrimp.. Followed by White asparagus and grilled salmon.. Along with the famous alt beer that was so cold it made your teeth chatter.. We ate this seated outside where we where able to relax and watch the interesting German locals who where going out for a spring walk and dinner.. We ended the evening by walking the flower laden trail along the Rhine river back 3 miles to our hotel.. It was pretty amazing night.. I know I am a broken record here but the only problem was calming the storm in my stomach after 4 beers so as not to embarrass myself (more than usual) on the walk home..
Weight.. Still doing great I think it will be a month or so before I can be in the 220's but I am still at it.. My knee is getting a ton better and I will start to run again when I get back next weekend.. On a pretty cool note I spilled on myself at work (no shock) before I was going out with B.S. and M5 that evening right after work so I asked M5 if he had any fat pants for me.. He showed me some 38 that where too big.. So I ended up wearing a pair of his 36 pants.. It was pretty damn cool to fat guy trying on 42's pants last fall..
HeavyD Out..
