Super Clyde
I feel so good it has been difficult to post but I had to mark a big event on the roll to heavy running the big one.. As an adult I have not participated in any running competition other than running for my life on a daily basis.. But my wife talked me into running the Torchlight 5k fun run.. Well fun and run have not always been two words that I use in the same competition.. Speaking of that if any of you know me I have serious problems when it comes to competing.. I don't know why or how to control it but when I am involved in any athletic competition (It was supposed to be fun) I cannot resist the temptation to win at any cost.. Put it this way when I was in college and my dad was in his 50's we would play "fun" one on one games in the summers to work out for football at 5:00 AM. Well put it this way I never let my dad get an uncontested layup "I would put an NBA playoff foul on him" . So all that being said we prepared IJ and ourselves made the trek to the registration area for the race.. It took IJ about 2 minutes of walking before he stated we are the biggest guys here (4500+people ). Our wives being kind said no.. But after IJ said please as we walk pass all the runners please point out anyone that is bigger than me.. Some 2 hours later after the race we found 3 total.. So IJ being the highest IQ person I know.. (I don't know that many people) Creates his own category for the race.. Super Clydes.. (There is a category for "large men" 200 lbs) After 2 years of running I can old dream of not being a Clydesdale.
As we waited and pretended to fit in with the beautiful people in the world.. (Not many of the people in the race where getting the incentive checks for GW if you know what I mean) We tried to blend into the surrounding but due to my baldness, Largness, Dumbness and general uneasiness in crowds we where singled out by people as the people to ask for directions and what time the race starts and where do we register questions. I think people feel comfortable talking to people that they feel are beneath them. But I almost lost it when the drunken bum singled me out as someone he could talk to (people feel comfortable talking to…).. Through the smell of rotting two buck chuck came from his toothless mouth I learned that he was in the 82nd airborne and was there for the fall of Saigon and that white people like him are brave and will through there body on a hand grenade to save everyone.. (I looked around for a hand grenade to jump on as that feel better than having this guy spew in my face.)
I was going to make it a fun run and with my wife and take leisurely jog through the city as people cheered waiting for the parade.. IJ made the smart move of saying this race is a personal journey and I will go it alone.. I stayed with our wives to score brownie points or whatever.. Both of them pleaded with me to get closer to the front of the race so that we would not have to weave in and out of all the slower runners.. No.. I knew better.. I thought it would feel better to pass them then to be passed.. Dumb.. The race started and it was horrible.. The pace was about 15 minute miles.. I tried to stay with the wives but it was driving me nuts with people stepping on me and me trying to avoid people and get by them.. I lost it.. This was not going to be a fun run this was going to be a race to see how many of these people I could pass.. (So dumb these people are running for fun and enjoying the night and I am a freight train) I am passing people by the hundreds I am zig zaging across the road.. I am in a blind rage to win nothing.. The city was beautiful that night but I could not see any of it.. I was angry at people that had started walking or getting sick after a mile.. I would see two friends chatting as the jogged along I would say on your left and barrel right through them.. I was an idiot.. There was a water station.. Do you really need a water station for a 3 mile run. Great another opportunity for me to pass people so that I could do what run faster and look like an idiot on this fun run.. I sprinted through until the finish line like it was chariots of fire only with drifit and baldness.. There where thousands of people that finished ahead of me and thousands behind me.. No one cares it is not a race.. I won nothing.. I waited for the wives who finished smiling and enjoying the night.. And IJ unofficially won the super clydes division as we noted later that he finished ahead of the three guys we saw after the race with 6 lb shadows.. IJ had a few people call out when he would pass them hey I am not going to let that guy beat me.. Beat him he kicked there ass..
It was really fun after the race to drink some beers and look at the river… I had a great time but I think I learned my lesson I am old and slow and when I start a race it is to finish who cares what the time is.. Enjoy it..
On a side note my body is slowly breaking down.. I have pulled a muscle in my inner thigh that is about 6 inch circle that is black and blue now.. I still ran 7 miles this morning so it can be that bad or maybe that is my goal to slowly beat this tired old body into the ground..
That's me HeavyD..
