PHAT CLEM HASKINS

Good to hear from you JLO.. I get the same jabs as you from various sources.. With the typical you carry your weight well( for fat ass) .. Snicker Snicker.. You have a nice shaped head.. Well what would I do if you said it was a horribly misshapen cranium you can't style bald any different it is what it is.. The only thing that bothers me when HOW does it is the source.. He is a marathon runner and he still looks like a beer drinking Bubba NASCAR Fan.. I don't know what he eats but he manages to be in great shape but looks like one of us.. Anyway no need to rip on HOW anymore it is much to easy.. I hate crowds (people for that matter) so I don't think going on a cruise is good for the big heavy.. I did some research on the banding with your svelte bro for a family member of mine and it really appears to be a safe technique for someone to control eating and still have full digestive function. As I have been struggling with weight loss over the last few months I truly understand a true addiction. It just sucks since the weight kept me from working out and so then I would get frustrated with the lack of weight loss so I would turn to a cheeseburger for comfort which in turn would make it even tougher to work out.. Hence the torn Hamstring the torn veal.. I am old and fat so I had to find something very simple for me so that I could feel like I was getting somewhere.. Hence the 10,000 step death march each day and the simple rule of note eating after 7:00.. All that being said I will always continue to struggle with my true love.. I rip on myself on this blog but all joking aside trying to eat healthy and control eating is the toughest thing I have ever had to do.. I try not to judge anyone for any technique they are trying if it works for them then do it.. I say this since I danced close to the 3 bill bear for sometime and I can tell you that my body actually hurt.. I am trying to not go on and on but man when you carry weight you can't just go start working out.. Your feet,ankles back everything just start failing under the pressure.. Again the vicious circle because when you try cutting back without being more active you don't burn anything and your body won't allow you to loose weight.. I know this is boring but hey it's me and JLO/HOW hit a nerve for me.. So anyway when I talk about my weight in here it is not to do anything more than hold my self accountable for my actions.. I would not recommend it but it is working so far..

Rockheads
Keeping the kids from being boneheads like there father is a difficult task but with my wife's help I hope they will be a little better rounded.. Not round and bald like me but more on the whole life gig.. So since my kids idolize IJ's kid this is a simple task for me.. (I will explain further) IJ family will call them the family VonTrap for this blog since IJ has been known to have his children sing to my cave children.. Well to make a fat story thin, the Vontrap daughter had a choir concert that she was singing in and my kids told us they would love to go where people made that funny sound come out of there mouth.. Well we all had a great time and from what I could tell from my underdeveloped brain and ear could discern the choir was great as well as the smiling Vontrap daughter.. This was yet another occasion where I didn't fit in.. So as the light danced of my protuberance the big heavy's brain was in overdrive examining each person and telling there life stories to me as I tried to distract my self I picked out Horace.. Horace was the only Male Bell player in the Bell band that played between the intermission between the two choirs.. First of all where does person go to play with other Bell players when he is 33 years old .. . Anyway as Horace was clutching the bell to his chest in the rhythm of the music I had to wonder what brought him to this point.. His mom Marge always wanted Horace to be well rounded so she didn't feel guilty by dressing him up in his brown cords and stripped shirt and keds shoes and sending him to his fourth religion class that week at church.. Well it turned out Horace was skipping out ever third day and buying candy at church to give to Brian in the hope that he would stop pulling the short hairs on his neck during choir practice.. Well Marge found out that Horace was skipping church so she signed him up for the bell band as well.. Well fast forward 20 years and 4 different color chords later Horace is still at the same church clutching the same bell he did now .. And Marge wonders why Horace is not showing any interest in girls yet.. IT IS PAINFUL TO BE ME.. AS WELL AS READ TO READ THAT.. IM SORRY for that.. (No I like to share the pain)
My son C says to me as we leave the church.. Dad how come you don't play any instruments Son your dad is a caveman don't be like me.. (By the way you don't have to wear chords to pioneer club at church)


Coaching
I have played a lot of sports poorly but at least I played a lot of them in high school.. The only sport that I still play on a regular basis (not since the veal incident) is hoops.. And to be real honest it is a close second to Football in sports that I watch on a regular basis. It is all sort of ironic that I get asked to coach my son's basketball team. I have never played it in an organized fashion at all I don't know any drills or games or anything other than see ball get ball.. (FT can attest to that) So my wife has been bugging me to volunteer my time to coach or whatever so I take this on to make here happy and I really love the game and I hope I can have some fun with it.. Well the fun got sucked out the first day.. The call me two days before the first clinic for the kids and they tell me we will be announcing the teams and the high school players will be taking the kids through a few drills.. Good I can learn something.. No not true.. The high school kid stands around for ten minutes and then leaves me with my team.. The league president says you have an hour and 40 minutes to work with your kids.. Oh by the way all of the parents will be sitting two feet from the court listening to every bit of crap I can come up with to kill 1:40 minutes.. Well short of them to doing the three-man bear wave I don't know what to do.. I could go on but I will tell you this It is hard to pretend you know anything about basketball.. It was the longest hour and half of my life.. Needless to say I am spending my free time coming up with drills and plays so that I can stay ahead of these kids.. I do like it but the kids keep wondering why I can't make a jump shot.. I tell them I am only doing that so that I can be like Ricky Davis so that I get closer to triple double.. No one gets it.. So fast forward to our first real practice I have a plan for every ten minutes of that practice and the kids have a great time learning the basics of basketball.. I had a great time but as I am leaving one of my good kids says hey coach that was fun but when are we learning some plays.. I wanted to tell him that I don't know any plays and I shouldn't be out here with you guys.. Oh that will be covered in our next practice….


SlingBox
I can bore you guys with this new device I have but if no one cares I will keep it out..
I will blog as the holiday season approaches so does the anger..