Big Dumb and Stupid

I constantly amaze myself.. Every time I think I can't get any dumber I top myself. I was having a great day at my parents playing catch with my kids and I was just thinking even though I am shade over 250 I feel good physically. (I still don't look good) We where all sitting around watching "Boof" pitch a pretty good game when my nephew showed up..


Well after we went for a ride in his old MG that he is fixing up.. ( By the way I am not sure the Brits have thighs.. I thought about asking my Mom for some butter to get my thighs underneath the steering wheel..) So after the ride we where talking about what he was doing and he mentioned he was playing Hockey a couple days of week in the summer. Well due to my disgust with my Nephew for playing a sport that I can't stand .. I made some remark about watching playoff hockey on the WE channel or HGTV or whatever worthless channel the hockey playoffs where on. Anyway I challenged him to a 40yd dash in the front yard.. Man am I a dumbass..


To start he is exacltly half my weight and 20 yrs younger than me.. But apparently as my weight and age get bigger my IQ gets smaller and smaller. So I threw on some shoes and raced him.. (no stretching for me being a highly conditioned athlete and all) The ground was wet and I was tearing up the turf as I lost the first sprint..(I looked like Barbaro in more ways than I knew at the time)Well I figured it had to be the turf or something other than me losing 5 steps.. So I gave my body everything it had..(not much).

As I crossed the finish line(the last tree before the drainage field) I felt a weird ripping noise in my Right hamstring it hurt so bad that I sort of tried to stop quickly which caused me to flip over my head and land in the drainage area. So as I looked up covered in mud and wretching in pain I saw my sons looking at me with dissapointment. I tried to not cry even though my leg felt it had beeen severed.. It dawned on me I am old.. Ouch that hurt worse than the leg.. It looks like I screwed up my summer by trying to be something that I am not, An ATHLETE.

I am going to post a couple of times today.. I am really sore and bitter today..