Last day of May

Sorry so late today.. I had a bunch of problems at work..

First of all why is it so hot already.. (insert fat joke here) I just got my tickets to Bruce from the "Introverted J" I am pretty excited but a little concerned about whether or not I will get to sit down for the show.. A couple of years ago "Introverted J" and "Bald Skinny" went to a Steve Earle concert at first Ave.. Well we got there early and stood for what seemed like 3 days instead of a 3 hours.. (I need to invent inserts or something for fat people.) Your feet get a little compressed when you are steak dinner over an 1/8 ton. Well anyway my back still hurts to this day when I have to stand for a long period of time so I really hope they have nice seats at the show.. You know ticketraper should give you a seat for the 20$ handling charge or whatever they call it to have a website with ticket info on it and and email with the ticket attached.. Why can't we stop that fnn monopoly.. Ok BS tells me that Bruce puts on a great show and he is usually right.


Twins why do they do this to me.

So being gone a few days and seeing that the twins swept the mariners I was looking forward to wathing the series with "Earth North America United States California Orange Count Anaheim Los Angels golden state Angels" I really could care less who they are playing for.. Why don't you just call them the Benjamin Angles since that is who they are really playing for anyway.. I can't stand California nothing appears real or normal there including there teams and Governeror. Back on subject: As I am hot swap watching the Pheonix game and the Twins.. I just start watching the location that the Twins pitchers are trying to hit.. Baker has lost it.. Mauer was putting the glove about 5 inches above the dirt and he was putting the pitch right in the wheel house about every 3rd pitch.. Baker has good movement on the ball but eventually you are going to hit if he is putting right down the shoot.. I would use Baker out of the Pen he is just not ready to be a starter. Why has gardy not given up on Rondell White he looks like Marco Jaric at the point completey lost.. (Good thing we didn't give up much for Marco)


Style of Play

I just love the up tempo style that Pheonix coaches it really pressures other teams and takes them out of any rythm and really makes the games fun to watch.. Nash is a really good guard but if he was in any other system he would be just nice a player.. I look at the lineup that they send out there and it really appears to be a joke but they all have drank the Kool Aid on this system and really work with it.. (Speaking of wich I am sure getting Wittman back is going to cure the wolves ails.. Only if he can shoot and defend down low). The Wolves have a "system" that no understands or has the ability to play.. I feel like that Mchale has the wolves so mired in quicksand that there is no hope for them.. I can't think of any strategy to get them better short of starting over like an expansion franchise.. Can you get conditional picks for being really dumb..


Sorry So late..

I'm Fat oh I mean I am Back

I have a ton to say but I just need to get something out there I will blog more at lunch..

I have a quick question for everyone.. You can draft 2 players only right now from the current NBA players.. Who do you chose? I would go Lebron Dwade.. But I almost could go Kobe.. in there.. Maybe I should extend this to top 20 so I would have to start considering KG.. (Oh why so angry) .. Twins swept a series while I was away and lost a tough one last night but they pitched well.. Seriously I used to think it was kind of neat but can Lew ford get any dorkier of course everybody says he is a "computer guy" whatever that means but it just doesn't help the image of any IT guy.. Why couldn't they call Pujols a computer guy that would help..


Hey I have a sure fire way of healing a hammy.. Pile your self into the back of a king cab pickup for 14 hours.. (Boy that feels good) My only revenge was eating Big Mac's and letting my essence make the people up front sick.

Who should the Wolves draft? If they are drafting on need I think they should draft anyone that can shoot beyond 15 feet.. I will post more later..

Fat Man Out

I am going fishing for the weekend in the Dakota's.. Wish me luck...
I am sure I will have some good material after the weekend..
Something to ponder I am going to start ranking movies and other items..
I was thinking of like 5 baldies or 5 d's or different burgers QPC,DQPC.. What should I go with..
How about stars Oh I forget we don't have any in Minnesota sorry KG..

Pressure to be Who you are Not.

I am going to rant about this some today.. So keep checking back I am going to post more of these as they come to me.


Fishing

It is like you are not really a guy if you don't want to drive an insane amount of miles spend money that you don't have to catch fish. I am going fishing this weekend and I figure if I am lucky each fish that I will catch will cost me around 50 bucks. I don't mind fishing but I would rather just go out on our little lake by our cabin and catch some bass and northern for an hour or two with my sons and be back in time to relax at the cabin. Nope to be a guy you apparently love to drive across the country (at least gas is cheap!) to hopefully have nice enough weather to fish some 12 hours a day.. (Would it be bad if I read a book while fishing see you can't do that and still be considered a guys guy..) I am getting angry as I write about this.. (I will post more later)

Hunting

Mechanical

Special Request...

Ok I just had a large french roast from Dunn Bros matched perfectly with a cinnamon roll. That deep rich taste of the coffe matched with the soft creamy roll was just heaven.. I put Devils and Dust on the pod just to enrich all my senses at the same time.. They always tell you how good thin tastes well they didn't just have the experpience I had.. La Vita E' Bella

I have developed a new slogan for my self.(My apoligies to fity)

Get Fat or Die Tryin

TimberWolves lottery Pick Etc..

It is late and I am not proof reading this until the morning..

I know this is pathetic but I actually watched the ESPN broadcast of the NBA draft lottery..
I am not sure what is more pathetic the show or me watching it.. (Tivo'd no less) It is like every organization says let's get the stiffest guy we have in our organization dress him up in an expensive suit and let him stare into the camera like a fat guy watching a Hardees commercial.(Did you see the new Philly Cheese Steak Burger? I digress.. ) It is simply the driest thing I have ever seen. I was embaraased for everyone including the espn host who was really trying..
Who is the Mel Kiper of the NBA anyway?


It really tells a story of where the Wolves are at when we are throwing games that people are paying to watch at the end of the season (Not Many people) So that we get x number more chances to draft another "best player available" of the 10 or so guys that should play at 2 more years of college hoops.. But instead they get 3+ million to ride the pine for 2-3 years and maybe impress the coaches in practice so that they will have a chance at playing real minutes in a game. I really think they should stay in school and make 10+ million for a university that could care less about them.. It is a tough situation but if these stiff suits are dumb to keep paying millions on a hope they will get the next KG.. (It is killing the NBA) I would take the money and get your degree later.(Yeah right) If I was 20 had millions in my pocket I would go to college.. (Wow I am bitter tonight)

After the draft
The real teams start playing hoops.. Dwayne Wade is an impressive player he is just fearless and afletic.. What the heck is wrong with SHAQ or "Bio Disel". He is just lost out there in Riley's systems or maybe it is just Wallace what an athlete ("Not a basketball player though).. (I can't stop thinking about that burger) . I am sure I will be wrong about this but I really think Flips system is not going to work in the playoffs.. They live and die by the jumper and if they aren't making they lose.. (Case in Point the Cavs taking them to game 7) I hate being a wolves fan we have not future until we got the franchise.. I like McHale as a person but in any other city he would have out on the street when he orchestrated the Joe Smith fiasco let alone the Sam Cassell for Marko Jaric and a first round draft choice.. So each year we laugh at the suits but really that is all we really have.. The Wolves have the same chance of winning an NBA title as I have of getting under two bills.



Etc..

IPOD
I have no specific taste in music so if you would like to throw something out there I should listen to I will give it a shot.. I still can't get enough of Dan Bern I just like listening to his lyrics that are so off the wall yet catchy.. I used to hate the Boss but I can't stop listening to his new album it just never gets old.
As I type this def leppard is on Leno help me.. (I am going to type the rest of this with one arm)
This is really inside but "I think Kid Rock is genius" Craig Trepanier Trepanier Law)

My leg still hurts pretty bad It would be nice if my legs didn't have to move my 225 pound body around.. I was dreaming 225 just looks good I am quite sure I have put on a few lbs to my svelt 270 lb frame..

The Twins won..(Cuddy might just be emerging..)

I am not sure I should keep doing this blog thing but it seems to make me less bitter so I will keep it up..

Just a Note

I am going to post some pretty heavy stuff out here about my brother Chuck.. I am not sure why I am going to do it but I think I need to just get it off my chest.. So if it bothers you or annoys you please ignore these posts.. They are for me or anybody else who has lost someone close to them and feels like me.. OK..

Couple More Things

Why is everyone who bikes nowadays wearing these metrosexual matching skin tight outfits.
Is the wind savings really worth looking like that for a few hours.. (not that there is anything wrong with that). I am biking a little and I really am quite certain that if you wrap my back in spandex it is still going to make a pretty good windbrake..

Twins Finally get the stadium

I am just relieved that it is over.. Yeah I know they didn't get the perfect location and they didn't get the "roof" but who cares about the roof. If they could just put "Detroilet's" ballpark or Jacobs field here I will be ecstatic(short lived it if the Twins don't spend some money next year).. I really can't ramble on this anymore... (At least not today)

I have been given a few requests for items to ramble on about if you have any suggestions please feel free to post a comment..


I am going to post on the NBA playoffs over lunch... I can't go very far my hamstring but as usual I will find oh way to sustain my pristine shape..

Big Dumb and Stupid

I constantly amaze myself.. Every time I think I can't get any dumber I top myself. I was having a great day at my parents playing catch with my kids and I was just thinking even though I am shade over 250 I feel good physically. (I still don't look good) We where all sitting around watching "Boof" pitch a pretty good game when my nephew showed up..


Well after we went for a ride in his old MG that he is fixing up.. ( By the way I am not sure the Brits have thighs.. I thought about asking my Mom for some butter to get my thighs underneath the steering wheel..) So after the ride we where talking about what he was doing and he mentioned he was playing Hockey a couple days of week in the summer. Well due to my disgust with my Nephew for playing a sport that I can't stand .. I made some remark about watching playoff hockey on the WE channel or HGTV or whatever worthless channel the hockey playoffs where on. Anyway I challenged him to a 40yd dash in the front yard.. Man am I a dumbass..


To start he is exacltly half my weight and 20 yrs younger than me.. But apparently as my weight and age get bigger my IQ gets smaller and smaller. So I threw on some shoes and raced him.. (no stretching for me being a highly conditioned athlete and all) The ground was wet and I was tearing up the turf as I lost the first sprint..(I looked like Barbaro in more ways than I knew at the time)Well I figured it had to be the turf or something other than me losing 5 steps.. So I gave my body everything it had..(not much).

As I crossed the finish line(the last tree before the drainage field) I felt a weird ripping noise in my Right hamstring it hurt so bad that I sort of tried to stop quickly which caused me to flip over my head and land in the drainage area. So as I looked up covered in mud and wretching in pain I saw my sons looking at me with dissapointment. I tried to not cry even though my leg felt it had beeen severed.. It dawned on me I am old.. Ouch that hurt worse than the leg.. It looks like I screwed up my summer by trying to be something that I am not, An ATHLETE.

I am going to post a couple of times today.. I am really sore and bitter today..

Watched Way Too Much Hoop

As I sat in front of my TV for some 5 hours watching the NBA playoffs (My wife wasn't around) I forgot how much I enjoyed watching competitive NBA hoops.. The TimberWolves nearly sucked the NBA life out of me these past two seasons.. But I have decided that Kevin Garnett isn't really a superstar.. He is a great player but has many limitations most of which are around being great when it counts and the end of crucial games.. When I think of the year that the wolves made there run to the Western conference finals it wasn't Kevin making the great shot at the end to win the game it was Cassel or Spree or anybody besides Kevin.

So what should the wolves due.. Well if the NBA had the CBA that the NFL has I would cut him straight out and take the 20 some million he will make next year and buy some draft picks and one or two young free agents.. No matter how good we think Kevin is here in Minnesota if you put him on the team with Spurs or Cavs and Minus there superstars of Lebron and Duncan those teams would struggle to make the playoffs.

I think the rest of the NBA is agreeing with me when a guy leads the league in rebounds averages 20+ points and 5+ assists and he does not make the third team All NBA team.. This kills me to say this but if you had to draft anybody from any team regardless of age or attitude where would you pick Kevin..

Lets start naming names and you tell him if you would take kevin before them. Lebron,Kobe,Duncan,Shaq(age not a factor),Dirk,Amare,Wade,Howard(I'm reaching), Brand,Nash,Kidd, I would like to hear opinions on this one.

Kevin keeps looking for players(dogs) that are jerking the chain maybe he should look in the mirror and find one in himself..

Speaking of which I am jerking at the chain for a Pizza.. (I am carbing up for my walk this afternoon)

Out..

More First Day Stuff

My Athletic Prowess

I have been attempting to be an athlete the last few months where I am trying to play Basketball with some real basketball players play on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings.. This is difficult to do but I have gotten much worse.

A couple of examples of my play are missing the entire backboard and rim when trying to shoot for teams. (People have stopped laughing) it isn't good.

People cheering for me to shoot much like when they cheer for the 6th year senior white guys who get put into the game at the end of the year game to make them feel apart of the team..

I used to hustle and work for rebounds but I can't exactly sneak up on anyone when I weigh an eighth of a ton.. It doesn't hurt that my face is purple and I am breathing like a train coming into the lane..

I love to play but I am not sure if my ego can take it let alone my feet with all the weight coming down on them..

First Day

Well a couple of items to start with..

I really can't take the stadium talk.. KFAN is even bored with it.. But I am bored with them. Why does everyone have to develop a shtick? Well it is free and keeps me mildly entertained.


TWINS
I really thought they cheaped out this obsession and they are paying for it. Can't we just have one guy that people are afraid of pitching too.

NBA Playoffs
Whey are all the Players punching each other in the balls? Lebron James.. I am going to post a whole item about him.

Vikings
I hope I am wrong about the draft.. But I like the tilt toward lineman in the free agent market. I think they are going to try and win with mediocre skilled postitions and have great offensive lineman.. I am such a Vikings idiot here I am talking about them and they don't play until August well maybe that's because the wolves didn't play this year because they couldn't have missed the playoffs again this year with all the great talent McHale has surrounded KG with..


Wolves
It is time to clear the slate.. Including KG who is my favorite athlete ever.. They are going nowhere..


Please feel free to post any ramblings

Large Round Head

I thought this would be a good place to start..
This is what I look like.. So really everyone reading this should feel better about themselves..

I will start "your lucky your head looks good bald".. Look closely you can see the bone plates in my head..

Feel free to throw out your rips.. There is nothing I haven't heard..

Let's get it started

Just a couple of thoughts before I get into this whole blog thing..
First of all I am idiot that cannot spell or put together a complete sentence due to my state school education and being a lazy fat man..

Second I am really bitter man and I won't apologize for that here since this is what I enjoy doing.
I see nothing in black and white on any issue my opinions change on a daily business..

Third I am just going to ramble there is no format other than I will spew out what I am thinking about each day.

Fourth I love my wife and kids and Minnesota sports but other than that I am tremendously shallow and very angry..

Fifth I love to eat and drink good wine. I guess that is why I am heavyD

Ok.. That is a good start I will start posting in the morning