Political BS

I am fired up and just need to fire this out there.. This is not or will never be a political blog for many reasons which I don't need to clarify for anyone out there but I will throw out my opinions because it will ease my anger (actually I am doing quite well since the country eggs this morning ) .. I am aware of issues but I am by no means unbiased when I approach them. On some issues I am very conservative. On other issues I am somewhat liberal. But I very rarely express my opinion in the hope that people will make there own decisions based on there own evaluation. We don't have a political system in this country.. We are forced to chose between two parties whose only goal is to get just enough support from the opposite party to win by a small percentage and gets the most cash from fundraisers. We have no real options for us .. We can throw our vote for someone that is independent but it is really a vote that accounts for a nothing. We have Coke and Pepsi for a political parties and frankly I find very few if any of either of the people in these parties a candidate for decent leadership. This topic just frustrates me to no end and I could expand on it but I think the political system in this country is not doing anything close to what the intent of when it was started. But here is what really get's me jacked.. I don't know if this started when Nixon or Clinton managed to make a mockery of the office they held but somehow in 2006 we have lost respect for the office. No matter how I feel about who is in that office or if I believe in what he/she is doing.. I still respect the position that he/she holds. We now have people writing articles in "highly respected" rags that refer to him as Mr. Bush or GW or whatever. No… That is not right... He is the president of the United States and should always be addressed as Mr. President or President Bush sorry but I just believe that even though you disagree with his politics he deserves the respect of the office he holds.. I guess I am old school but I am trying to show my kids how to respect people and themselves and we can't get writers to set aside there own personal agenda while writing or speaking to the masses to give the highest office in this country the respect it deserves..(I am a little hot on this)

Here is what takes the cake for me on any political issue.. Bruce,Dixie Chicks,etc… I don't care what you think about a given issue.. Shut up and sing… Oh because you are making more money than you can ever spend... I am supposed to think that validates you as a person of authority on anything.. No your not.. You made a lot of money because you are really talented musicians… (Bit of a stretch with Dixie Chicks) I hate this preaching that people now feel is appropriate.. Here is my point.. Yesterday I was forced to sit in a room to discuss the employee handbook and they brought in the exec/general counsel here. Sounds like a decent enough guy but in his short presentation he uses this opportunity to bring up the fact that "Bush" not our president or anything close to that when referring to him.. (hard to tell where he stands) Was rubbing the female German chancellors shoulders during some summit or whatever. Yes it was a bonehead move but instead of just telling the story he has to get all these new employees to agree with him as he says "well as you can tell I am not a fan of bush" or something close to that.. The point was is this you are dumb if you don't agree with me.. It is ok to shout out my political views to everyone in the hopes that my position will sway you personal position. That is what the heart of the issue is for me.. It is low hanging fruit it is too easy… It is wrong.. I guess I got this from my parents back in the day when I was pretty curious about who they voted for. They didn't tell me because they wanted me to form my own opinion.. Maybe I am wrong but I think that is the right approach.. (Easy Heavy taste the cheese still left on your chin.. breath in the roasted Red pepper smell on your breath.. ) Ok if you disagree holler out..

Vikings
Dwight Smif will be playing this week angry..(I just hope Steve Smif comes across the middle).. Chester needs to have the same game as last week he really impressed me with his fight.. (He hasn't started the Ted Brown move of backing into the line when there is nothing there.. I watched the game again..(pathetic) Steve Hutchinson is so dominant Seattle is going to miss that guy.. FatKinney and the rest of the behemoths out there should thank the Vikes and Hutchinson for the big money that the Lineman are going to start getting because he is showing why he is worth it..Matt Birk is a shell of himself.. He just is not very confident out there I think it will take a few weeks before he is even 80% of the guy that went to the Pro Bowl.. I think it will be another close game but if Smif doesn't play for Carolina they are going to have trouble getting points.. 17-14 Vikes.. I am going to the game so I am pretty pumped.. That might be because FT is making bloody Mary'ss,Brats,Chili and last but not least plenty of NewCastle..
Oh I believe the Vikings coach staff will choose to waste an enitre game to prove to Smoot that he needs to play in the Team Concept of a defense.. I didn't have a blog then but that really was the end of the Tice era for me….


Twins
The twins will not make the playoffs..(I hope this eases the pain for me I feel like if I keep telling myself they aren’t going to make it it will soften the pain when they don't) It won't so some quick thoughts.. If Rondell could get hot and stay there wow that makes the lineup a little more daunting… Phil Nevin we are gonna miss you umm maybe it is time to retire.. Mornosey he just keeps getting better I have never been more wrong on a guy.. The twins will pay dearly for the year he is having.. Please move Mauer to Left field or Third or something besides catcher this season is wearing him out he is 23 and he is tired and hitting less what makes them think he will be more effective with 5 season like this.. Hunter has lost 3 steps since his foot started to ailing but has been hitting a ton better.. He is going to have to if he plans on getting a decent contract for next year for Boston (it was a nice run). Punto is becoming an amazing defensive third basemen please start taking HGH or something so we can some power out of that position. Go Twins.. Thanks for entertaining me..

Bus
I was playing a soduko game on the bus.. (I know it is entertaing to watch A Dumb bald Headed guy work on a puzzle sort of like when you watch a bear trying to figure out how to open a can of cherries) But this person who apparently doesn't have the time to prepare himself for the bus rides he takes each day decides to start looking over my shoulder as I make futile atttempt to solve the puzzle. Well I am mad enough already but then when he starts nodding approval when I put in a number I came close to going over the edge but I was unsure that my sharpie would hold up when I rammed the end of it through his left pupil.. I quietly folded up the puzzle without finishing it and imagined why a person that has 15-20 minutes of each day where they could listen to music or read a book or the paper or whatever decides it would be more enjoyable to stare at the back of my head.. I guess that is why ASSCar is successful it doesn't take much for these people.. I wonder who Jeff Gordon is going to Vote for..

Don't Hate I have enough of it for everyone..

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHeeeeeeeavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvyyyyyyyyyyyyD

1 and 0 and 1 and half games back

I know people hate when I discuss sports but I am an incredibly shallow person (That is tough to figure out) with the intellect of a wart hog (and shape) so I blog what I am. I am an idiot that enjoys the escape that sport provides..

I am not sure it gets much better for a Minnesota sports fan than last night.. When the twins beat a playoff caliber team easily with great pitching from the not sinking Silva.. What a great night to use hot watch on tivo.. I did not miss a pitch or a play.. Thank you Tivo..
My impressions of the Vikings haven't changed much.. This coaching staff might not win many games but they are going to do the right thing for this ownership group.. They need that stadium and they are going to have a team that people are not going to be embarrassed to root for..
It has been tough to root for the Vikings when they are constantly pushing the edge with the Artic Blast thing heck even back to the Tommy Kramer and Keith Millard days.. Don't get me wrong football players are not going to be great people but at least have enough control to get their freak on in private.. Drink but just don't drive it just isn't that hard.. First of all thatis what she sai… no heavy to easy.. So the Vikes where willing to lose that game to punish that player.. That is going to get the attention of the players out there as well as the fans.. I was shocked that they did it and oh by the way did not do a big press release or beat there chest about it.. They just did it much respeCK.

The Defense really struggled due to the very slow play of the Linebackers.. I think you could see they where trying different players out there like D . Thomas.. The cover 2 just requires the backers to make quick decisions and either get deep in the pass routes or get to the edge and protect the outside.. They where constantly stuck in the middle of the two and where not able to make plays but that said it should get better over time and they did play much better in the second half.. Brad Johnson played amazing he was putting the ball in perfect position almost every play.. Troy W. needs to make the plays.. That guy was open all night long.. I was sick of the Vikings throwing deep but it was just like when they kept running the ball for two yards and a whole lotta nothing.. They kept doing it to keep the defense off guard and eventually they popped a few nice runs and Troy caught a ball when he had to.. Washington offense looked like the vikes d the past few years.. They struggle d to line up and get the plays run correctly instead of be able to make plays.. That offense will eventually be very good.. The Vikings offense is what it is.. That is what we are going to see all year.. They are going to play each game so that they can run the clock down and hope their kicker can win the game for them.. Hutchinson and McKinney where just plain solid last night when the team needed them at the end.. Look how the vikes spent money this season. They signed a vanilla running back (who is just solid not great but very tough) a clutch kicker a fullback and offensive lineman.. They are going to try and beat defenses into submission and hey they are 1 for 1 on that they just plain wore the redskins down..

So I have some new things on my rating the game system everybody please tell me yours…

Play of the game
When Sharper went Joey Browner on the potential touchdown pass in the end zone.. That changed the game and brought that defense back to life.

Player of the game.
This is tough so I am going to chicken out. And give it to Oline and Dline.. Both of those units where just solid and allowed the vikes to stay in the game. Look at how much time Brad got on those passes.. Look at how many tackles that Dline had..

Game Ball
I will give that to Brad Johnson he is just so good for his age it is amazing.. I know he will be hurt soon but I just love his energy instead of the pepper mope…

Reason we won
No turnovers.. And they where not out coached.. Or maybe the redskins are bad.. But they where favored by 4.5 without portis..


Big Holler out to IJ and JLO sometimes I create topics (WHS) just to see what great comments they will come up..

Fat-n-Happy
D

WHS

The football season has begun..

Football Section
I lost in both of my fantasy football leagues and due to the vikings playing on Monday night I will be losing my Fantasy Family league as well. (insert igonored wife joke here)Quick impressions.. It is the first game of the year so they don't mean a whole lot but it does tell you something.. Yes the packers are that bad.. Is Carolina going to be angry coming into to play the Vikes.. Atl looks good.. Dallas is going to be tough.. Cincy is just as good or better than last year.. Baltimore will dominate if they can keep Mcnair healthy.. Enough of that.

WHS
I got a note from WHS the other night that they are going to having a "20 celebration" of the 86 football that went undefeated and won a state championship on homecoming.. I am going back for a lot of reasons but mosty because it something that in my life that will always be perfect and unnaffected by everything after it.. IJ could go back but for other reasons beyond football he will not.. This is going to sound schamtlzy but I need to tell you why it is perfect.. I believe everyone from the 1980 season and on should be celebrated in this game. I could go on and on this subject but to keep it somewhat short.. WHS before this was a small town that had never won a thing in sports short of a few wrestlers winning a state championship. The football team used to get beat like a drum each year and had the tradition of playing there games on the outfield of the baseball park in town. My oldest brother the orginal Heavy started playing at that time which just so happens to be when they started playing a lot better. I won't go into this but he is the reason that this event is still perfect to me.. Fast forward to 84 season and the team has a tradition of making the playoffs and this is the year that they legitamely could play in the dome. But something else has happened in these years to all the little rug rats that are playing tackle football at the games behind the stands. All of them I mean every kid that can blink and breathe at same time hopes he can have a shot at going out there and playing for the team. They now have there own football stadium with a manicured field that only they play on and that lights up the skies on a Friday night.. I think you end up playing less than 7 games at home each year but each one is special. I still remember the day I was handed my red white and blue uniform. I bought the matching red white and blue socks (They where pathetic but not to me) and I thought I had finally made it but nothing compared to the night you first put on the uniform. Every kid would sit in class on Friday and wait for the day to be over with so you could go home and relax before the game.. I remember getting into the car and I would have my duffle bag full of my uniform and I would clutch it like it was a new born baby.. Then, to make it more surreal you would get to the school and our coach had a rule that no one was allowed to speak in the locker room before the game.. You would get to your locker and take 4 times as long as it would normally take to get your pads in your pants and hip pads on straight but really you where just soaking up the feeling before the game.. That feeling that you where unbeatable you whole town was going to watch your team win.. Losing or the fear of it never entered your mind. And your mind is focussed and you are just itching to get out there and hear that sound.. This is going to sound weird but the sound I would hear is the click clack as the Under Armor commercial keeps referring you. We would walk onto the field with the whold stadium filled with everyone in town and the band playing but all I could ever hear is the sound all of our cleats made when they tapped the plywood board put across the track surface as we walked onto the field.. I was a football player I was apart of something special for our little town. I could really bore you with details all of which are still fresh in my mind 20 years later but the memories are still perfect of that perfect season. WHS has not won a state championship since and maybe never will but we will always have that one year.. PERFECT


More later..
Vikes predictions please..
Washington 17 Vikings 10

Daunte and BS

Top 5 quote from BS
"I cannot do two things at once I can barely blink my eyes and breathe maybe that is why I always have dry eyes.." I respeCK that

A couple of things I would like to clear up on my side of the Daunte debate as a Vikings Fan. I think he is an amazing athlete.
He has everything you want in a quarterback for physical ability. Daunte plays footbal for Daunte this is not unusual but I am not sure this is who you want leading your team. He is a very immature person not unusual for a football player (please read all previous posts) but not someone you want leading your team.. It was said again last night he is not good at reading defenses how is that possible this his eight year.. He doesn't react well under pressure probably not a good trait.. Has he grown or become a better "student of the game" in the last 3-4 years.. No in fact he is worse. You cannot rely on him to win games from him.. If he could just relax and run within the offense he could have been one of the best QB's ever and he still might become one if he will get over him self. If he could have been paired up with a great O-line and the Randy Moss of Old who knows he might be a Superbowl contender but he is not.. If Miami is counting on him to win games they will lose.. He is the anti-player maker.. When he tries to do something special he fails.. When you need to pass he cannot look off a defender and make the smart play.. All that said I think his will to play this year is nothing short of incredible although selfish as usual and dumb.. He is about 70% healthy and if you watch him really run he is going to damage his other leg but he would rather prove people wrong..

I hope all goes well for him in his home state.. But no matter how much success he has down there.. I cannot knock the vikings for going in a different direction.. That is not to say I love the Brad Johnson quarterback situation I just think they are looking farther down the road.

OK I will post some more later..

ROUND MOUND

2/14/2001 Let us not forget

So if I didn't lose you with my last odd post I never will. I eluded to this in my last post but it looks like I might be traveling overseas this winter. I have nothing to add it is just distracting me so I keep forgetting to get the blog up there.. But hey on the bright side there should be some solid stories about the big heavy traveling overseas.


This is pretty inside but most of you will get it..

I know some of you out there are former IT peons like myself and I think it is time I did a little venting on that subject. It is not a good time to be in a IT in fact it has not been a good time since that dreaded day in 2/14/2001. I know we can never had dreamed that something could befall our IT nation but it did. How could M5 have done it.. How could he rewrite history how can he attempt to turn back the clock.
It all started so innocently we where just friends, we are just tourists, what harm could come to lhe IT world of one man scorned by another jump to the one who scorned him. What harm could come from a flying metal tube holding 500,000 gallons of fuel cause. Who knew that if this relationship took off our IT world would crumble under its own weight. Who knew you could steer a flying quickie mart into the pillar of our nation would change everything we do today. Well the past is the past but let us not cast judgment.

No Lets pass judgment. It is not M5's fault that we are all pondering learning Hindu.. It is not his fault that we are being tested for competence.. It is not his fault that companies like Best Buy and Travelers have eliminated there entire IT staff.. Oh I am not bitter that the future is so bleak that we count on having jobs like we are counting on getting social security when we retire and sure I will lose weight when I have more time.. (Sorry can't stop thinking about the weight since I am imprinting the docker logo in my ass with amount of volume of ass I am fitting in them. Relax heavy your pants are..) Ok I am going to need to vent on this more later but the rest of my cube mates are getting out there prayer mats (I hope the star on my Christmas tree in my cube isn't offending anyone) and I would hate the sound of my clacking disrupt them..

Twins Gotta love them for keeping me occupied between Viking games..

This is me I am heavy
I ask you not to hate the playa unless he drives an M5

Life 03

Ok.. Ok.. The big heavy is in the house.. So I rush to get on the last express bus which really starts my morning and the large Jamaican women next to me out right.. She now smells of ganga rum and swassy Dockers.. So I quickly drown out on the noise of two loud Spanish women across from me.. I can't tell what they are saying but I hope the other women is asking where she get her face waxed because this women has a five o'clock shadow at 7:00 I am thinking she could grow a better foo than me.. Yep she could.. Before I can drown out the spanish I have Betty and Ruth (who are seeing people for the first time since the holiday weekend they spent soaking there corns and watching jeopardy and shooing fly's off there egg salad sandwiches hoping someone from her family will take here to the fair ).. Well Ruth is massaging ruths ear drum with discussions on the rise and fall of gas prices and the amount of traffic on the highway today.. The music has finally kicked in.. Why does betty have those old lady shoes that are flesh/bandaid colored are they are try to make people believe they don't have shoes on.. Easy Heavyd you need time to vent it has been awhile.. Thank you Bern I can't hear it any longer.. Now on to more important things.. Well as I am fading off to sleep I start thinking of my fantasy football team..I really don't think we have enough fantasy games out there.. So I really think I should add something to it..

Fantasy Life

Ok we need to start with some simple goals.. The goal is to make it as many years into your life as possible while having a modicum of enjoyable days along the way.. You have to at start one inlaw, one parent, one wife, 2 kids, and 3 variable items that contribute to a short life.. I will explain this further.. Your options are one, a wife that tolerates you, wife that loves out of pity, wife that ignores you… I would draft the pity wife early pity doesn't come cheap.. Inlaws you have to start a mother in law that hates you, ignores you, wishes you where something else, avoids you at any cost, tolerates you because she is duty bound ( Just a hint don't draft this position early all of them take a tremendous toll on your life span other than the hate because you really know where they stand.. Ok you can go the other route and draft a father in law this can be real tricky since you have some real draft busts here.. Father in Law that does no wrong.. (Here is the killer this can flip the loving wife into hating you since you really don't compare here.) Know it all Father in law.. This is a safe mid round pick they make you feel like an idiot which for me puts me on even keel which doesn't take a whole lot of years off.. The kid are picking is tough do you go with 2 boys 2 girls and what age I mean the smart money says that you go with 1 of each at age 6 months so your wife isn't bugging you about having more kids but that means you can't go anywhere or do anything which can up your variable item which is eating which can take off at 25 years at the pace I am at.. This is tough choose wisely.. The other draft items are parents.. No that is too deep for this draft.. How about the variable items.. Here is a few examples.. History of Diabetes in the Family, History of Heart Problems in the family, History of Cancer… wait a minute I might have to take all of these.. I would go with prostate cancer it seems to be a slow killer so you should be safe here.. But see there you might have to get the surgery that can create swing the loving wife into the bitter neglected wife..
What is wrong with me.. I want to delete everything I just said but hey its me it is my worthless blog..


I am in a great mood but the travels of the big Heavy might be going oversees..

Beer Brats wait a minute

Don't Hate

Bald and Happy

The Big heavy is taking a few days of with my family..
I won't be posting so there will be a few days of not seeing the vikings crap I can't seem to stop talking about.
Anybody still playing Madden out there on Live..

Getting thicker

D

First of all that's what she... To easy

Sports And Sunshine.

Ok.. Sorry for the lack of posts..

The twins I have nothing but positive things to say.. They are playing as well as they possibly can.. Man they are so much fun to watch..
Give Silva a shot or something maybe it will help him like radke.

I think the vikes showed more of themselves (Thanks Mr. Smith) against the ravens. This team is just like eagles only worse.. The offense does not have a chance at running the ball unless something drastic happens before the opener.. I know they have played Steelers and the ravens but whatever scheme they are using cannot block the 3-4 at all.. But maybe that is just the way this offense has to work.. If you watch Philly it is the same thing they just don't dominate the line of scrimmage.. They don't do anything amazing they just dink dunk and swing down the field a couple yards at a time.. And we don't have anything in our offense that makes you believe they have a deep threat.. Why can't our receivers catch across the middle..This is going to be a long season.. I think we need a new category for stats though YAB yards after boredom. It is like we lull the other team to boredom with a barrage of 2 yard runs and 5 yard dump passes to the tightend and then we hit a guy in the seam and they are so shocked and bored they don't tackle him because they are just sick of it all.. All that being said here are some quick thoughts on the game..

Pat Williams is just playing amazing he is worth watching the game to see him dominating the line of scrimmage.. The Two ends are impressive quick.. This defense could be really fun to watch. This defense is going to smoked a ton but also create a ton of turnovers and be really be fun to watch.. Smoot man I hope you can play that well in the regular season.. Wow they really play a ton of press man..
Scot studwell could play linebacker today as well as that dline is playing.. If they stay healthy this defense should be in the top 15 in the NFL.. Offensively this might be the poorest skilled position players the vikes have ever had.. That right side of the line does not have enough ability to block the back side on runs.. Childress is going to have to scheme around never being able to cut back on any run.. Tjack still playing well.. If this season goes in the toliet start playing this guy and give the fans hope for seasons to come.. We need to draft a running back.. They are really thin on talent and here they have no depth here..

Ok my grades thanks everyone please post yours.. Just drink the Kool Aid and pretend the preseason means anything..
I will start with the most important first yada yada

Oline.. C- We won't win when they play this poorly run blocking. The right side gets d- but the left side is ok.. McKinney looks terrible.
Dline- A they have depth they are keying everything on that defense.. Pat Williams is just unstoppable..
Linebackers - They get a B but they just need to start making some big hits they are not getting blocked at all..
Corners.. A Thank the Dline for this.. You can press you can take chances the QB is constantly under pressure.
D Coaching .A Whatever this tomlin guy is selling these guys are buying and it makes all the difference wait for the Season to start..
QB.. B Johnson is just so solid he makes this job look easy I wish he wasn't old.. McCut is a waste of snaps.. Tjack still getting better
TE.. B+.. They are blocking well they are the best at there position that we have an offense short of Hutchinson.
O Coaching.. C+ This offense is too easy to defend.. They can't run.. They can get the ball across the middle.
WR C.. There offense cannot stretch the defense since they can't catch the ball over the middle or get open deep.. I like Williamson but we need something here.. MR BRANCH maybe but he is too small..
RB.. D- they have shown me 0 in the preseason… I know this is the preseason but these guys have done nothing but get 2yds a carry..
Safeties.. F If they penalize smith they are done.. But they need to penalize him to get the stadium.. Why do we live in a state that wants to punish these guys.. How about the cop who catches these two adults "bobbing for apples" tell them to grow up and get out of there.. No he gives him a ticket.. Nice.. This guy is an idiot I agree but I don't think he deserves a ticket for it whether he is a viking or not we are not in Utah.. I am sure if they had this in Philly the guy would have a ticket…

Overall Grade. B the oline really is weak and I think it is the most important item on any team.. Birk is a shell of himself..


Movies.

Invincible
I went with my family who all love to watch football and talk about it so my review will be jaded.. My kids loved this movie for the Rockyiness of it.. For some reason I just like Mark Wahlberg even though he is a pretty average actor.. If you want a more contemporary rocky movie I would see it.. I am giving this 2.5 to 3 baldies out of 4. Take your boys they will love it.



Litte Miss Sunshine
This movie might crack my Top 10 movies of all time.. I am a little hysterical since I just saw it but I liked everything about this movie..
The writing was amazing the character development was just spot on and made you understand all their weirdness. .. The Acting was just so not overdone but gave you so much more than the words.. I felt for these people I understand what each of them was going through I have pushed my own "van" (have to see the movie) If I had once ounce of writing ability I would dream of writing something this good.. This gets 5 baldies out of 4 since I don't want to rank this movie using my typical rating scale otherwise it would drop the other movies I have seen recently off the charts.. I hope the industry understands that you have to make movies like this to give us all hope that great films still can be made.. Easy D.. we understand you liked this movie..

Eat, it soothes the pain
D out..

I am Magic Johnson

Magic will go down in NBA history as one of those players that when he steps on the court he makes everybody else a better basketball player. He could play all positions effectively and did all the things need in each position to allow his teammates to play better basketball. Him and I are very similar but in just different respects.. First of all we both like the big stages to showcase our games.. Magic played huge in the NBA finals in Boston and Los Angels against the best of the best opponents.. I like to showcase my mad skillz at the Stillwater middle school in front of some of the best players that where really good high school players 10 to 30 years ago.. Like Magic making his teammates play better I make my teammates feel better.. I play all positions poorly but consistently which allow all my teammates at there respective positions feel better knowing that they are much better than me.. Magic handled the ball with unbelievable skill for man of his size.. I handle the ball like a fat kid trying to catch the greased pig at the county fair.. What a minute maybe I am the pig and the ball is the… His clutch shooting allowed his team win the big games.. I can't make shots when shooting for teams so that makes those teams better.. Magic was a pass first point guard.. I am pass to anyone before I turn the ball over forward.. So all that being said would you want to play for a guy who makes you a better basketball player or would you want to play for a guy that makes you feel like you’re a better player.. FT walked off the court last night after player a full night with the Heavy Wonder and thought he was combination between the Hakeem the Dream and Charles Barkley..


Enough about me..

M5
There is plenty of me but I am sick of looking at me or worse yet talking about me.. Wow M5 did you see the picture that I sent you from BS had of the friends kids or cousin or whatever that destroyed his M5.. It was amazing the amount of damage that was done but the guy ended up with a sore wrist or something.. Now I don't feel bad for going 120 in it..

DenverJ
There is no way you can be busy right now (x number of kids under 3).. Get your blog up to date the Fall season is starting and I need some items to add to my season pass.

BS
Has anyone seen BS lately he challenged some people at work to lose weight.. Well you know how when some people look good when they take off a few lbs..(Speaking of which I need to take a..) well BS looks worse.. I know you are a runner but there is no need to look an Ethiopian..

FT
I think FT is taking a new direction in weight gain that is really revolutionary he is working out more and eating less but is actually getting heavier.. It is phenomenon that I have used for many years.. Muscle weighs more than fat.. "So I am gaining muscle right now" The end result still is you look fat.. So he has that going for him.

SW
When are you going to dust of the jordans and join the Stillwater hoops crew.? I will make you feel better(see above)

JLO
Do you think an invasion of France is imminent.. Sort of like me getting a bagel this morning.. Hey who invented the bagel.. It wasn't the French was it..

IJ
Staying Introverted so you have nothing to add sort of pithy comments in response to the great JLO's posts..

MontgomeryJ($1.25)
I thought a farmer was taking his combine off the field last night when I saw the large object and the slow moving sign reflection in my headlights last night but it was $1.25 waddling along the road.. I think it is a good idea that they imbed that sign in the back of the big and tall man pants pockets.. It is all about saving lives and boy when you have a wide load like that people need to know when to swing wide around the big man walking..

Wow I am little rough today.. But I am hungry for some good comments..

Big Bald Old
Out

Pre Season Game 2

Why am so pathetic.. Don't answer that..
So when the weekend of camping was over with the first thing I did when I came home was shower put on clothes that make me feel that I am losing weight. Most of my clothes at this time of my life hurt constantly.. I am not complaining just giving you feel for why I am why I am.. So I will give you my breakdown off the game.. (Man I love tivo) I would like it if you did watch the game to give me your opinions.. Trust me I am biased and I really appreciate someone with a different perspective..

Some quick impressions of the game.. The Vikes are practicing way too hard.. They all have heavy legs in my opinion you can see it in the skill positions the corners are playing really slow and lethargic the running backs have no burst at all. The Oline has no fire out there on the first contact. They are doing nothing but playing a very vanilla set on the offensive side and really not a Tampa 2 on the other side. This defense is going to need a different corner than Smoot.. The goal is try and drive plays to the edge where the need a physical corner that tackles well.. Winfield is a perfect fit for this.. I really think the rookie corner from Texas is going to be perfect for this.. Smoot tried to bulk up and play this position but he is going to struggle he does not like to hit.. Napoleon Harris is a big weak spot for this team.. It is weird when the first team plays all the tackles are by linemen or the defensive backfield.. When the second team plays it appears that all the tackles are being made by the linebackers. I am being really negative which I am really not I just they are quite a few players away from being a playoff team.. But they are going to be a team that is not going to get run off the field and I think they are headed in the right direction.. I don't think you can change over so many things in one off season and expect to be anything better than .500. I am really going to enjoy this season if they can stay healthy at the QB.

The Vikings have the worst quarterback situation in the league on paper.. If you stop dinking the Kool Aid just think about this.. We have 38 year old quarterback that is angry about his contract ( I don't blame him) and due to the play of his west coast veteran backups has the front office by the short hairs. But I can't blame the front office on spending big bucks on 38 old this might get ugly but knowing how classy Brad is it probably won't.. I am not going to pick on the backup IrishMen it is way too easy.. They need to get someone else here as soon as possible neither of them can play for this team at any time this season and expect this team to win.. Tjack I just like that one is getting better each week but from what I can tell they are spoon feeding him with what they are calling and doing with him so his confidence is being built up.. They need to try the same thing with McCrap if they are not going to bring anybody else in here.. Anyway I like what they are doing with him he is going to be a good player next year.. He just looks like he belongs.. Brad Johnson is so perfect for this offensive man I wish he was 10 years younger wait a minute that’s when we got rid of him the last time..

Ok time for the grades

Special Teams.. I would say a solid B.. They have no return people right now.. This is going to hurt them this year.. Thanks KRO
Oline C- they passed block pretty well. But they are not playing like they should be at this point.. The vices will not run with the blocking they are getting like.. They look tired Mount Mac looks slower than usual.

Dline A They where good and getting better.. They have good depth here and they will need it.. They are getting pressure without blitzing..
LB's C someone make a play they are incredibly thin at this positions I like leber but everyone else would not start on any other team.. Show some leadership make some tackles.

RB's C- Do any of these guys excite you.. Well they match the offensive.. They have no depth no experience this is going to be a weakness big time.. They have no like Hammer and than a quick guy.. They have a bunch of below avg backs.. I think Fason will be the starter soon. I know it is early I am just no seeing anything special.. And they have no backups..

Receivers B+ I think we will be ok here.. I think look real solid a little thin but this offensive does not require a superstar.. We could use one though I think williamson has a chance at 50 catch year.. I like our TE's a lot this is sad but Wiggins is the only legitimate playmaker on this entire team.. When it counts he is a guy you get the ball in his hands..

QB's F Brad Johnson was amazing and accurate and just about perfect.. Tjack played better than any Rookie QB I have ever seen on the vikes.. His release is so fast… Settle down Heavy.. McQuit is so bad that they cannot ignore this or make it go away if they want to go to the playoffs they need to sign a legitimate back they will need it..

Overall Vikings Score B no one got hurt they played hard but came out flat early.. They will be a good team six games in if they stay healthy

Please comment your own grades..

HD

Holler

"Camping"

Well it looks like we are headed for a rainy weekend which always coincides with me going camping with my family. For some reason I will call it tradition for lack of a better term IJ and our families squish our families into one large(not large enough) tent. So I got that going for me which is nice.. Our kids have such a good time that the parents make the sacrifice of sleep and lugging enough supplies to give a Bono a run for his money.. It is weird what people camping isn't it.. Some people drive away from their huge homes in gated communities to park this Phallic shaped (http://www.mykoweb.com/CAF/species/Phallus_hadriani.html I love Google) moving homes with slide out sides (they have another term for them) I have actually been in a few of them at car shows or something and they all look cheap and cheesy like the lowest grade furniture you would find at wicks and this is the "luxury models" like a 300,000 bucks or something.. But because you can drive it you pay a premium for that it looks like shit look. Then they take these huge vehicles on the road where they get gallons to the mile and find a location that is as far away as possible and drive there.. I could maybe I mean maybe see (I am listening to the whole James Blunt Album wow it is crap two songs the rest is terrible) it if when you arrive at your destination if this was located on some remote bluff overlooking a river or lake or whatever and you could really enjoy the quiet and beauty of nature.. But that is not.. They drive into the cheapest "campground" they can find to dump there human waste and wedge the $300,000 rolling trailer next two 432 other people doing the same things.. They don't even need windows on this drivable Johnson since the only view that my get out there window is this.

1. Margie from Baxter stretching her replacement hip out before taking Snickers here yellow doodle for a walk.
2. Dick Slintzy from new ulm fixing the coolant leak on the aft side of his structure.
3. James who is changing his son's Breckenridge diaper to impress Helen his mother in law who has been belittling James parenting skills on the only weekend he will allow himself to be raided by his in-laws so his wife will leave him alone for another 51 weekends..
(Wow I am losing it I really need a vacation)

Not my thing to do but please don't call it camping.. When I say camping I mean put up a crooked tent with 75% of the actual items needed to erect the tent.. Through down an air mattress that only hold air until the wetness seeps through the bottom of the tent and gives you that slimy wakeup camping feel.. (It sucks being the heaviest person on air mattress since you drive all the air over to your lighter partner who sleeps on this wonderful pillow of air while you are absorbing 3/4 of acre of due and are counting the number of rocks that pushing are vertebrae at one instant).. Sorry I actually like camping just need to get that out before it happens so that I don't act like an ass all weekend( I still will but I thought it was worth a shot).. We usually make good food on the fire and have some New Castle.. Ohh That sounds good right now..

Vikes..
Looks like the rookie is going to play more.. I might drink the Kool Aid on this guy but he still is a good 2 yrs away from being a starter.. Not Like the Irish idiots who are a few weeks from being a no name computer guy in a large corporation.. (Wait a minute that hurt) In honor of the Tampa 2 defense the vikes started playing this year.. I have typed this blog with my two out side fingers on both sides getting an upward push on the J,:,A,F keys respectively practicality drive the key up the row to the numbers.. So that I keep my thumbs available for any keys that needs to be pushed (hey maybe the NFL channel isn't a good thing for me)

Twins
Tough weekend they need to win this series to alleviate some of the pressure on them.. The White Sox are going to be the team to beat down the stretch..

Take5 sorry my hands just did that..
I have a pressing problem that I need to get back to..

Why can't I stop

Heavier

D

FAN

So we are going to get a new regime in here and eliminate all of this scandalous player problems.. We all have been reading about K RO and how he has finished treatment and how he is now a better football player and a better man.. Even before this I keep thinking if you are now a family man and that you are not "partying" why the thug look all the time.. The shades the long corn roes the duu rag.. But you’re a change man.. I think if you dress the part and act the part you are the part.. You don't see Tony Richardson looking like this or Winfield or Sharper either.. Yeah they are no saints but they have at least enough common sense to look professional. Sure I drank the Kool Aid about Koren but I think it was like a guy that just lost the best looking girlfriend he will ever have will fall in love with the next one that comes long that alleviates the pain.. We all wanted Randy 2 (I smell chocolate in the building) and we where blinded by a guy that had a track record of repeating the same problems over and over again..

I have never understood addiction and why these guys can never resist the temptations. (Just a second just got an email that there are free krispy kremes down the hall) Well back to my thought.. These people can't put themselves in situations where they will be tempted.. (I need to go to the can hmm that is right past the donuts.) Why can't they just tell us the truth that they need a personal assistant that will drive them home when they drink and keep the allusion going that these guys have changed.. Speaking of changing I am working out each morning now and I am done with over indulging on food and have completely removed sweets from my life.. I am not on a diet I made a life style change and I am going to be a better person for it.(I wonder if there are any of them left now You know what if you I don't eat the crème filled ones I am really eating healthy).

Well it also rained today so I wasn't able to run but I made up for that playing hoops last night.. The best part of being the worst hoops player ever you can take a good month to six weeks off and you really haven't slipped because you really can't get worse. (Wow my bladder is really going I am going to have to the can again Really if you just have a few donuts that is the same as a bowl of cereal) So as a fan of any sport you want to believe this guys bet you know what.. Once a thug always a thug.. If you are going to get a stadium built in this area you will need to eliminate this type of player.. He could have killed someone on the highway that night(No gets killed eating another donut stop rationalizing your sick get help).... Sometimes you have to swing way to one side to correct this problem.. Go ahead take your TO's and your Randy's we don't need them we have new system.. It is called bore the team into submission with the year yard pass and 2.5 yards on the runs.. And we will use our best weapon our punter. Eventually they will submit like water torture. My only solace is that this offense really doesn't feature a breakaway big time reason (what about TO in Philly) so we should be fine..

The Twins where solid and just won't quit they are really trying and it is entertaining.. The could really use a thug on that team.. Maybe Tyner could bring his homies around and get the thug vibe going..

I will leave you with this thought.

No one ever really changes they adapt to the situation.( I like big pants)

D out

Vike Preseason Game 1 Other Stuff

I was fortunate enough to attend the Vikings preseason opener last night.. It is a long story but we get this tickets as a throw in for the Vikings packer game.. I don't believe the coaches when they say that you don't make the team on what you do in the preseason games.. There is only x number of times you get to rush the passer and hit the wide receivers coming across the field and that is the only way you find out who in the words of the great diesel "who eats meat and who eats tofu".. The score in these games is meaningless other than what happens when the two teams are playing there starters… The raiders are a terrible team.. They got the ball deep in Vikings territory twice and really did nothing other than take up space before a fat eastern European waddled on the field and kick two field goals.

DD's observation of the first quarter was why does Randy look so sad.. It was simple but true Moss has no explosion homeboy his speed is not cash.. If you listened to his statement after the game he really misses playing on a team that utilized the best deep threat receiver to ever play the game.. (No joke I can't think of a better one).. He might shock me but there is no way he can be the same receiver he is a step slower and his tear it up attitude seems to be lost..

Brooks might be the dumbest quarterback to ever play the game.. He looks like a rookie running the offense for the raiders so it is hard to judge how the 1st vikes defense played. I will admit the new defense masks there coverage's and lineups really well but he was lost out there.. The defensive line looks they are going to be able to apply better pressure than last year. The Viking defensive players all look leaner than last year and a little quicker especially the d ends..

Draft Picks I cared about. Greenway is out which is no shock since he has had various throughout camp.. The Cook kid looks huge but I can't say he played poorly or if he played at all.(not good for a second rounder).. Jackson was different than I thought he would be.. He has a really quick release and the obvious cannon which he could have used some touch on last night.. But that said he looked like he had a clue what he was supposed to do out there.. I think if he keeps progressing he could be a legit backup around Thanksgiving this year.. Not sure if it his ability or the coaching but he never really looked confused out there but I am sure in preseason they some pretty standard defensive schemes. I have not excuse for McMahon and the other Osullivan guy.. They have been at this for better than 4 years and they both just don't get it.. The vikes should watch the waiver wire for a serviceable backup quarterback.. That Blue kid playing safety is a hitter I really like that back there.. They had another decent white guy playing linebacker that looked like he could play I am sure he is just as good or better than greenway but only time will tell.. It looks like we won't be seeing anymore of greenway this year..

I thought the linebackers where lined up in the right position this year which is saying a lot.. The defensive back field is going to be decent but extremely thin and safety and corner.. The second string d line was disappointing they should have been more dominant since most are not rookies but it could have been the schemes or whatever..

Skilled positions.
The Vikings are a very plodding team they don't have any guys with a real burst especially at RB.. This guy from the ravens is a real nice backup but not a number one back.. I know it is early but he just doesn't come off the ball and hit holes .. I might be wrong on this guy but I just don't see that burst into the hole.. Moore is what he is a great quick runner that hits the hole hard but his body can not take 20 carries a game and he is just not a gamebreaker.. Much Respect for Brad Johnson his throws where sharp and on the money.. If he plays all year the vikes will make the playoffs if he is hurt they don't have a prayer.. The receivers look as deep as any position we have.. Williamson is a nice deep threat I think robinson is going to have a huge year and so can Travis Taylor all if Johnson stays healthy.. I think Marcus Robinson will be cut he was running with the third team..not good..


So I guess I will rate the preseason game like this..

Kickoff/Punt Coverage They where flat terrible D
Kickoff/Punt Returns Fumble on the first kick(Williamson assured he won't have to try that again) F
Punting/Kicking The vikes are going to be very solid here this year A
Running Backs I really like richardson at the FB but am bored with everybody else C-
Receivers Hard to tell but they should be the consistent part of this team B
Quarterbacks Johnson and Jackson where near perfect but thanks to the Irish idiots B-
O line The right side is still pretty weak they could not get any running game going past 3 yds.. B
D Line They look quick and ready to play The Tampa could be perfect for this line A-
Linebackers I think they will be serviceable but with Greenway out they are going to be thin B
Dbacks The 1st was a good as they could have been in the preseason against an inept QB but the second string is pretty weak.. B+
Fans Drunk and Rube like but hey they didn't boo Moss which is true it is half the reason any of these people ever started watching the vikes.. I give them a solid B since 30% people actually cheered when Jackson when into the game so they where at least watching..

Quick Note on excellent parenting..
My wife was with friends this weekend and one of her friends mentioned that her kid that is not in school yet is reading chapter books.. I quickly scoffed at the notion that there kids where any more educated than mine. "I bet there kid can't Xbox have as good as my 5 year old" My wife was repulsed yet again with what she has to deal with a daily basis.. It just hurts her more when I verbalize it.. I have more crap to write but I will keep it short today..


PUP

D

Sic of Being SIC

Pathetic
I have been sick over the last week and I have really started to hate myself. Which is unusual (Please read previous Blogs) and tiresome. I thought I couldn't get any more shallow but I have made the kiddie pool of my previous self seem like an ocean compared to this week. I have suddenly regressed to my early teens.. (This wasn't a huge drop off since I really was nearing my early twenties in Maturity) I found my self scouting all the preseason games available on the NFL network (212 on directv) No joke my wife was gone for the weekend recovering from living with me throughout the year and I had the TV to myself and I find myself watching these games like Greenbay and the Saints and Detroit and Arizona.. (Man is GB terrible they have no O line).. What is my reason for watching these games.. I am sure you think I am watching these so that I can draft a fantasy team no that would be rube like but that is not it.. I am watching these games so I can look at how the offensive coordinators and defensive coordinators address different situations and the formations they use.. (This is sad) And why so I can be a great fan and truly understand the game since I used to play it.. Nope more childish than that.. I am watching so that I can change the strategy of the way I play Madden on Xbox.. So I can d up Byron (age 15) representing the bronx career record 235-76 favorite team the patriots.. Who beats be mercilessly online.. Sure he hasn't seen the sun in 3 weeks but that guy's plays a mean Dime Cover 2 Under Blitz.


According to every other person I meet the world is coming to the end.. It is Prophecy.. The End is coming please prepare yourself. Why is this squabble different than any other.. If this is the end what can we do.. It was a nice run.. Maybe I should ponder my place in this world (Can't stop thinking about how to stop that Blitz on the weekside.) How do we solve the issues between Muslim and Christian 4-3 against trips receivers .. Why do I need to escape into my Madden World when the real world is crumbling around me.. Need to get better I think my sickness is making me delusional.. Why is Kid Rock a genius.. No wait I am delusional..

Twins
Radke was as good as it gets.. IJ and BS had a discussion about this.. I can only name 3-4 pro players that would continue to perform giving the pain he is going through.. IJ claim he would play with a severed spine for x millions a year. What his argument lacks is he is going to get paid even if he doesn't play and he more than likely won't play next year so he isn't pitching for another contract.. IJ has the IQ he is just blinded by $$ BS is as dumb as me so he can just plead ignorance..


Movies
JuneBug..
Not sure how to rate this one since I just really enjoyed the acting and the dialogue.. This story was trying to do the day in the life about some odd/normal people living in the south as seen through the eyes of a well traveled British person from Chicago.. I don't need a simple story line that gets summed up in the end or makes you think.. After watching the movie I was left with the feeling that they should have shown growth in the characters or the truth behind there relationships and they really did care about each other.. But they instead left this characters as is with slight glimpses that they where a family that really cared.. Well IJ and I watched the deleted scenes and it turns out if they could have left one scene in that kinda sums up all the relationships in the movie it really made the movie for me.. So I am going to review this film with the deleted scene added.. With all that said 2.5 baldies out of 4.

IM BACK AND ROUND

The twins have been so much fun.. They are just battling to win games I enjoy the effort they put out there every night.. Props out to Mornosey.. They where 6-1 on this road trip when they needed to do it.. Wow they are so clutch.. I still don't think they are pitching well enough to make the playoffs.. But I don't care this team is going to get better each game.. It looks likes the Twolves are going to go into the season with 8 guards.. Well at least we signed just Reed.. I like the guy but he can't be a main cog on this team.. Enough negativity.. Does anybody listen to balermo on the FAN.. He is a bright guy and a great columnist but he is bored with sports get him off of a sports talk station.. I really can't listen to him it always about politics around some interesting tid bit about our society.. GET OFF THE FAN.. Go to Ktalk or something...

So I am reading this article about some "Hyenna" that has been spotted near the north shore.. It turns out is just a wolf with Mange ( a disease that makes the animal lose its hair) Well FT walks into my domicile and looks at the picture and asks me if I have that.. So I got that going for me.. let me dry my tears off the keyboard for a second asdfkjas fjk;asfjkasjfkjaskgjasgasfgasg ok... I'm back..

I am standing at the bus stop with my buds in my ear hoping no one fires up a conversation.. To make a long short story long this man that looks like Dick Cheney.. IJ and JLO very similar to an avid football fan we know.. He starts a conversation with me and starts talking about the terrorist stuff in London.. Then he starts talking about the Russians supplying the weapons to the "Hisblok" (No joke) that are taking out the Israeli tanks. Then he starts to go off like JLO's blog and starts telling me about the prophecy and how this is the begging of the end.. ( I AM THINKING I hope the Viking season starts before the world ends.. ) Then I start getting angry with this guys kids that don't have the decency to call there Dad and let him spew this conservative drivel on them instead of a stranger on the bus stop.. Why can't his wife alice have breakfast with him in the morning and pretend that she is aware of the oncoming muslim threat.. Why me I am shallow I like to ignore impending doom.. Hence the sports talk we all need to escape from this constant negativity..

Sorry for not bloggin just getting out of my funk.. Don't Hate

Holler BIIIAAACH

Tired Old Phat

Guys weekend has passed and so has a tremendous amount of gas.. Guys weekend has almost become guys half week.. The New Castle was great but IJ agreed with me that perhaps it is time to include some good wine in the near future.. (That is a bit metroÂ…) So as I watched the core of guys pass 40 I become reflective about days gone by.. There where days when we would ask if anybody had any more kids than last year.. Now we are havingconversationss about how many kids we still have in the house.. Did this depress anyone else?

I don't have the energy to blog anymore today..

I will blog on the weekend more this week.

BIG HEAVY OUT

Coffee required today

As I stood waiting for my bus and with the rain coming down I felt akin to being one of R. Kellys girlfriends on Saturday night I really needed to vent out here today.. I traveled to Indy on Monday night after work.. Just a one day trip but for me that is the kiss of death since I can't sleep in a hotel room and since I was traveling with my boss I would check my watch every hour throughout the night so I wouldn't miss my wake up call..(What a dumbass) How do you miss a wakeup call.. Actually the trip went well except for giving me countless opportunities to make a fool of my self in front of my boss.(My career ladder is a step stool) More on that later but since I am so tired today I really can't focus long enough to create a linear blog..

So I get on plane 50 minutes late we where waiting for our 5th waitress (stewardess) funny how that is when they are in contract negotiations.. Why do these people need a union.. Maybe the people at McDonalds should form one since it requires the same skill set.. Easy Heavy the anger is brewing today.. Guys weekend is coming it will be all right.. Where is a cheap place to get new Castle.. Stay on track.. Waiting for the plane on a triple digit heat day and with a triple digit BMI number equates to a fair amount of swesticle problems for me.. So I take my sweaty boarding pass out of my khaki pants that now resemble sweat pants as they are glued to my legs outlining the pillars that hold up my tremendous pear shaped upper torso. I get on the plane/bus and hope that I am SURE but there is no way I can prevent my swassiness from giving the people in first class a little whiff of my swaint as I push through the cabin back to last class.. So as I pass by all the people with the don't sit by me look on there face.. I find my way back to the bus where I get to meeet Tangela and Sharice (they where both Norwegians from the Midwest.. Yeah) They where new to flying and where very nervous and used this as an opportunity to riddle me with questions about my life as I struggled to ram my earbuds to drown out my thought of trying to create a story for everyone that is in my vicinity.. I thought of using my own life but decided that might bore me more than them and decided to come up with a new plane character for myself.. I could post this but I can't remember half of it since it just started and I couldn't stop it.. I though about picking the architect but I that would spur more conversation so I went with Network security analyst.. I was on my third marriage due to the travel and 9/11 and all .. You all should try it some time it is amazing and harmless and makes the flight zoom by… Wait it didn't work.. Tangela started lecturing me on the poisons I had in my body since I had never had a colon cleansing… No Joke.. She recommended going to this site and start from there DrNatura or something.. It was priceless since they where so nice but they kept using words in the wrong context or adding to the end of words or using the complete wrong word I was dying inside.. (It was like a weird SNL skectch) An example "this is a chronic situational problem that can lead to further computations up the road" (Jdenver I thought of you "Radioactive pay").. You can't make this up.. I really enjoyed the conversation they where so real and un filtered like the other BS you hear from the business travelers normally who are comparing the memory sizes of there dingleberries that they can't shut off until the last possible moment.. (I used to think I would like one so that I could track sport scores but I can't seem to find a way to call that a business need)..Man this is rambling

So we arrived and all went well (My job is so boring there is noway I could ever post about it) but on the return flight I was sandwiched between the window of the bus and a 9 year girl that decided to use my belly as a place to rest here feet and kick my bladder on 15 second intervals but her mom was this yenta from Queens that was practicing the ignore my child and hope that someone else will tell here to get her feet off the angry bald man but she decided it was more important to text message with 3 inch long finger nails on here crackberry.. The flying bus was sweltering but this was one of those people that always brings a coat when it is 95 degrees outside so the air won't give here a chill.. As I peered through the sweat dripping down eyelids and tried to gracefully push the hot needles of death that where the 9 year olds heels out of my midsection I had thoughts of grabbing the strings around here hoody and twisting them until she stopped clicking those nails on the mini keyboard.. Just at that point I turned my pod on to some Queen under Pressure and all the people on the bus disappeared and everything seemed ok as I slipped off into an angry slumber.. Why does everything seem so much better when they are put to music.. Maybe I should play hoops with an ipod and I would look afletic.. No it wouldn't work..

Sorry for not blogging.. I am going to be out for the rest of the week..
Let me leave this with you.. If the twins don't sweep KC the playoff chase is over.. I am hoping no one kills each other at guys weekend.. Vikes season is approaching.. I will start posting really boring Vikes post soon..


Don't Hate Eat.

HeavyD

Sports Junk

JLO has started Guys weekend by insulting HOW so nothing has changed.. If HOW is offended with his new name I am sure it will never be repeated again. IJ as the name implies (introverted J) has asked that he not be introduced here but allowed to be in the blog and guys weekend without being officially acknowledged (PLEASE CLOSE THE WINDOW).. I don't think I will welcome the guys of GW unless they would like to be lambasted like HOW.

Vikes
This is going to be odd year.. The preseason isn't going to tell you anything other than if this rookie quarterback can play at all. I really think Childress is an arrogant control freak he has hired a bunch of young guys without any experience at all so no one can question is ability .. He does nothing in the draft and then selects a project at QB even though there was 3 potential star qb's available when you have a guy at 38 in that position.. He thinks he can coach anyone which will be his downfall.. The vikes are really going to be lacking speed on both sides of the ball.. They have Williamson with speed at WR but nothing like Bennet and Moss and Daunte on offense.. We don't have a shutdown corner ma I hate that term winfield is a great tackler but not a great cover guy. And we have some very average running back.. Unless this kid from Iowa is a playa the vikings will have a tough time on defense with the lethargic guys they have at the line backer position since this scheme relies on a great athlete at that position. All that said the division is weak and the vikes will be 9-7 to 10-6.. I am going to blog a lot about the vikes most of which will be negative which is just my way of softening the blow when the vikes play poorly..I am such a vikes rube I would kill for them to make a super bowl and haven't missed watching a game in a long time…

Twins
Can they keep doing this? It has been a great summer of watching them turn a young team into a contender.. I have enjoyed this season as much as 86 and 87.. Honestly I wouldn't be real upset if they didn't make the playoffs but baseball is such a marathon and it just doesn't get better than this in the regular season.. What is everyones opinion should they bring Garza.. Will they try and get Soriano .. Is Torii done as twin.. Why can't they unload Lohse..

PUPS
SW sent me this on the pups first rounder.. Nothing but good about this guy..
" Randy Foye did nothing to make me regret saying the Hawks will rue the day they passed him by for Shelden Williams. Foye averaged about 26 in Vegas while essentially toying with the field of NBA wannabes (Brandon Roy did the same). I like the Hawks' signing of Speedy Claxton, but Foye's going to be dynamite. He and Joe Johnson would've been a backcourt to beware, and while neither one's a point, both are combo enough that they could've played together.

Speaking of Foye, I like the offseason Minnesota has had, which means that you can ignore all the KG trade rumors. He'll give it a go with Foye and Mike James before demanding a move. If Foye's ready to step in and average 16 off the bat, the T-Wolves could return to the postseason, though the West is deeper than Donald Trump's pockets. "


SWAINT OUT

Let me Bore You

Had a long boring Day Yesterday

My son had his tonsils and adenoids taken out yesterday.. Everything went well expect we are going to have a pretty sick kid trapped in our house over the next few weeks. So I won't be missing any Twins games soon.. Wow are they fun to watch right now.. I don't think they are better than the sox but I do think they have more confidence than the sox.. It is like they expect to win even though they are counting on bartlett to hit a 3 run dinger.. Johan doesn't seem quite right yet but he is a smart pitcher that is winning without his A stuff.


Ok.. So I shouldn't do this but it is my blog So my son comes out of surgery in this new Out patient special surgery place where they stack up patients like cord wood and knock the procedures out all at the same time using the same process.. It is really hard to feel like you are important when they refer to you as parent a6559 in outpatient area 63a but it works and the care seems to be good. Anyway I am sitting there and should be just thinking about comforting my son but I can't stop listening and looking at all the situations around me.. So I will just tell you one of them because I just thought I would let you get into what goes through my head on a daily basis..

I give these people around me names so that it helps me with my internal story that I generate for them. So gramma Esther has just cataract surgery on her eye and is sitting there with her son Kenneth..(That is na ame I reuse since it gives me the creeps and you wonder when the kid moves from being called Kenny to Ken and finally Kenneth.. Well I think this guy has skipped all those steps and was just called Kenneth by his mom since he wet his pants at the church Christmas musical..age somewhere between 3 -19) Well Kenneth is wearing the perquisite clothes off man living with his mom at the age of 43.. He has black sweat pants and a red and black "golf shirt" (Kenneth has never played golf as you can assume his days are spent working at the shinders downtown and brushing Esther's hair before she goes to sleep) his hair had the look of 10 yr old kid that took a bath the night before and got on the bus the next day looking like his head was lopsided.. (It is not easy being me) So as the doctor is describing what he needs to do to care for his Mom's surgery Kenneth nods and pretends he cares about his mother's well being even though he is still calculating how many more years he is going to be hit with the same hair brush when he hits a snarl.. Cut to me trying to focus on how son's doing he is a little sleepy but still as a parent you still worry when you can't seem to help your kids.. Esther blurts out did you right that down.. Can you get the Car started it is getting hot out there… Did you call Aunt blah blah and tell her that I am ok.. Kenneth is just hoping the meds will make here sleepy so he can get back to being Ksnizzel wacking homies on EverQuest.. I could go on but it really scares me that I need this to get through the day…


JLO IJ who should we introduce next..

HeavyDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
OUT
posted by heavyd at 1:10 PM

3 Comments:
JLO said...
D,

We don't know IJ yet...why don't you do the honors...

JLO

1:44 PM
How said...
So many GW gents to introduce and only 1 week to the big event. I haven't read through more than a couple of days worth of ramblings so far, but here's a few that I haven't seen come up yet. Drumroll please.... In random order:


HOW IS AN IDIOT XXXX WILL BE USED IN PLACE
Schpeedy
Dock Boy (You know who you are!)
XXXX World (we'll have to call him this year since he can't attend)
Trappy (or is it 7/8th's?) HE IS M5
Oak Tree
Gentile (I know you prefer HeavyD, but that doesn't have its origins in GW and all of these names must have some type of beginning there!)
Coonie (I think that's right?)
Low-Sack(This has morphed to XXXX Low, but Low Sack was the true original)
J-Bird (you now refer to him as IJ, but that has nothing to do with Guy's Weekend)
XXXXXX (I got nothing)

Peace!! How

7:12 PM
JLO said...
D,

Think you need to work with McKack a bit re his opsec on the 1MC...furthermore, as a point of clarification, McKack seems to be rejecting his new identifier...so...I think, particularly given his akward clarification of GW names and their origins, which if he had actually read two days worth of postings, should have made it abundantly clear that such things were strictly verboten, you might re-introduce McKack (or just Kack for short) in your own dynamic way...and then press on with intro's of the rest of the GW posse...just a suggestion from a former Alpha...

JLO

P.S. Mr. Mckack...

I obviously have no issue with us (GW posse) and our use of creative nomenclature for each other...I do however, have concerns that some anonymous C++ - Java Script weenie from Bangladesh might horne in on our thing, and start throwing names around like he actually knows something...just saying..perhaps for not...

T minus 8 and counting...

9:47 AM

Too Dumb to Change Welcome McCACK

Apparently the audience has reached more than 3 people which was the original audience for this blog.. IJ has been berating me for my content in the blog.. Apparently I make too many jokes about my weight and bald head.. Maybe I should freshen it up and talk about other things like the new guthrie opening or Hezbollah or some nice recipes for zucchini (Wait a minute that might be a good idea) or the trials and tribulations of raising kids in today's society.. No not here not ever.. .This is going to be the same boring drivel that it started out as and will continue to be.. Maybe I should start rereading the things I spew out of my keyboard maybe I could even have an original thought every once and awhile.. Maybe I could be happy and content and maybe I could go through an entire day without taking in 4000 calories (There I go again) .. It is what it is..

There has been some complaints about not being invited to guys weekend.. This is an old school group of my high school classmates and a rich single that gives us someone to tell us stories about what our life might be if we where all weighed 70 lbs less (There I go again) and where wealthy without children.. (Perhaps a heavyd blogging weekend is in order) ..

Another Bus trip
FT and I rode the melting pot bus on Friday afternoon.. Well 4 nationalities into the ride I see a young want to be ghetto pregnant girl on the front of the bus confronting the bus driver.. (You know the type waving here hand like a sista even though she is as white as kevin mchale and doing "OHH NO YOU DININT JUST SA DAT TO ME" "I WILL HIT YOU UPSIDE YOUR HEAD YOU MF B%^$TCH") Well even FT notiecs this event after he cases the bus for the opera man ("PLEASE CLOSE THE WINDOW") .. Well too make this short the bus driver calls the police and doesn't acknowledge the crazy women raising here purse to hit the driver.. As luck would have it the bus driver finally has to let this lunatic of the bus and after 5 minutes of waiting for the police to arrive FT and I decide to get off the bus.. I am not kidding we step off the bus and the driver takes off. I am little swassy and FT is being his usual cool self by opening up his laptop and searching for open wifi connections.(he was unable to achieve a signal due to his ). I am stuck having to talk to this angry chick for the next 20 minutes waiting for another bus to arrive.. Oh and while we are standing there A kid rides by on his bike pretty close and this chick you remember is pregant screams at this kid like she is going to fight him.. So I was pretty comfortable. Sometimes I wonder why everything in politics,tv,movies is so dumbed down.. This answered the question for me..

Movies
IJ and where desperate too se a good film so we looked at the current stuff out there.. So there is some movies that you just can't see with another guy. Like any movie with shirley Mclaine or Meryl Streep.. So we through out Devil Wears Prada .. You wouldn't have to be gay to enjoy this but it would help. Clerks 2 I would have seen but IJ hates Kevin Smith.. This went on and on and we actually considered the m.night shalom or whatever move chicks under the pool or whatever.. The reviews where so bad that we just stomach the eight bucks for it..
We decided that we should see the my girlfriend is a super hero or whatever.. We just couldn't do it.. THERE IS NOTHING OUT THERE..
So we went to blockbuster and rented The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada .. it’s a Tommy Lee Jones movie that he directed.. Its got the sharp shooter from private ryan pepper or something… (This guy is weird actor but he did a good job in this) The movie is shot really cool and gives you kinda of cool new look at the countryside in southern Texas and mexico.. The story is pretty simple and they don't really spell anything out for you but it really worked for me.. If you want a good rental I would check this out.. I give it 3 baldies out of 4..


Sports
The Vikes season is getting closer.. Let me prep everyone cover 2, red zone, its about getting better everyday, Runs a tight ship, the offense starts up front, Brads won a superbowl before, great team guy, yards after catch, plays within himself, okk that is enough.. Twins man Liriano was just nasty in the first 4 innings this guy could be a CY young contender.. This is too long today..


How
How called me this morning and is dying for the intro.. Holler JLO..

THE ONE THE ONLY under his pen name (heavyJ)

First...How is as solid as any of the GW brothers. I've known this guy for 26 years, played H.S. football with him, been in a serious car accident with this guy, hunted deer with the man (when we shoot together at a deer, How always makes the kill shot, and I usually miss...according to HOW), attended numerous sporting events with him (usually after putting up with the obligatory dad's gas credit card joke and him then coming through with great seats for me and the gang), buried a friend's wife with him, had a couple of interesting fights with him, christened children with him, best man in his wedding (he...the best man in mine)...all around scrappy little Irish bastard with a heart of gold, and a face that's a cross between Brad Pitt and Dr. Cornelius from "Planet of the Apes". The only thing bad I've got to say about How is his pathetic nickname. Hoooowwww?...come on!!!...needs to be something more reflective of his Irish and Simeon roots...I'm proposing "McKack"...a little bit of charm from the Emerald Isle, a little bit of lice picking, tree clinging, plantain eating, prank playing monkey from the plains or jungles, or where ever "McKacks" reside in Africa. McKack (notice also how the first three letters bear some resemblance to his real surname) is a real stand up guy, who barely takes the time to sit down...he's always on the go...I'm proud to introduce...MR. MCKACK!!!

heavyD
I really enjoy the softening of the person up with the hugs and kisses before stabbing him in the chest.. Well DONE.

Portly out..

Metro

Ok..What is wrong with the Cheese Cake factory..
I have been ridiculed by FT for meeting with my homies at Cheese Cake Factory and having dinner. Apparently it is being too metro to sip Mimosas with a few of my close friends and share cheesecake.. Yeah he is right but if I have to choose between looking a little light and eating something good food will always win.. (Hence the name)

I am actually getting through another book and am wondering what suggestions people have as well as there review of the book.. I like complex stories with a small amount of characters.. I find that if a book has too many names I lose track of who is what.. Damn I wish I wasn't so dumb..

Anybody not from h2o please skip.
Let me introduce somebody else from guys weekend.. HOW.. How should I start.. Yuck that didn't work.. The facts are all according to me so when I am wrong it another case of me being dumb not intentional (read JLO post). Supreme athlete marathon runner nope.. Getting knocked out on film at Holy Angels naw too easy.. Falling asleep during conversation with the brother J's father nope.. Bringing vendors to a friends cabin no that's just sad.. The hair brush incident no that my reinforce the metro thing.. No.. I can't do this justice.. I am going to give this piece up to JLO.. JLO please introduce the one the only HOW -- I will insert it here---

Sports
SW sent me this article from espn page 2
"5. Joey Harrington is going to beat out Daunte Culpepper by midseason.
I've never been a Daunte fan. Never. I was irate when the Vikings drafted him just months after Jeff George had a great season. But it's deeper than my allegiance to George.
Daunte is not a student of the game. He doesn't read defenses. He's going to get exposed in Miami because his mobility is gone and he's going to be forced to stand in the pocket and make reads. It won't be pretty. "
It really shows how one great athlete can change the NFL game.. Randy Moss in his prime made being a quartback so simple( I don't if he lost his mojo or what but he looked slow and normal last year).. He streched the defense made the reads so simple if the saftey went with him through to the reciever that was singled up on that side of the field. Daunte Culpeeper is horrible under pressure and was such a tremedous athlete that he never truly understood how to read and react to defenses he usually just let his ability carry him. You think about Kubel for the twins is having problems with his knees over a year later and he is younger and lighter and know one is hitting him.. Daunte is a long way away from healthy and when healthy he is a great athlete but not a great quarterback.. No.. I am not a Brad Johnson fan.. I think he is a great guy but he is not going to carry this team he hopefully stays healthy and completes the simple passes that the Philly offense requires.. (By the way I can't stand McNabb) Even though I am Vikes fan I cannot deny that Favre is an Amazing talent that although incredibly dumb is one of the best throwers to ever play the game.. And he is one tough SOB.. If I had to win one guy with one guy in his prime.. I would choose Dan Marino.. Don't hate just my opinion please give me yours..

Welcome JLO

jottings
A couple of items of note from yesterday.. While FT and I entered the boat.. (I made sure we where on opposites sides of the boat that reminds me of Montgomery J who was recently on a cruise in the Caribbean SHip perhaps he should position himself amidships on the boat. ) FT decides on a course of action to meet new people from the company.. (We where all given two drink tickets) He says to me "Hey let's try and get to the alcoholics first" I am dumb so it took me awhile but it came to me he could pick out the people drinking soda and somehow make idle chit chat and bring up the fact they where not drinking to lure the alcoholics into giving him the tickets to not make an issue of them not drinking.. (Disgusting but a good plan) but as usual the privileged people like FT don't pay anything.


JLO Blog
JLO Your use of the English language is loquacious and I marvel at the ease that it spews from your keyboard. I am not worthy of posting with you on the same blog/server/service/subnet/Uunet/internet.. My nascarish blog would be humbled by you and your vast vernacular.. That said the term for Poly-blog is a team blog and it is possible at this site.. I would be more than happy to turn this blog into one of those but it might risk losing the personal Heavydness of the blog and people would wonder when they start seeing articulate posts using appropriate syntax and spelling as well as proper use of the English languageÂ… So send me your posts and I will post them with my post for the day or on its own..


Welcome JLO
I think I need to appropriately introduce JLO.. I don't know the origin of the LO part of his name since it has become apart of his name like kleenex is to tissue or rotund one is to me but if he would like to post on where that came from I think it would help us truly understand JLO.. Where do I start since I have known JLO for so long.. He is an avid hunter (not really but it brings up a great story that kinda sums up JLO). JLO was 17 or so and I was 15 at the time (this is important) and we had duck hunted a few times (I was dumber then I hate duck hunting now) without much luck.(That could be due to the fact that we never wore camouflage and sat in a silver fishing boat without any cover) other than irritating every duck hunter within range.. Well JLO and myself had heard about people that would do something called pond jumping (which really meant that you drove around and looked for a small body of water and would sneak up on it and jump the ducks) well JLO and I start trying this without any luck at all but we keep seeing these recurring them where when we would jump the ducks they would circle and fly to this one general area so after a few hours of this we thought we would try and go to this area.. Well as we approached the duck gathering point we realized that we where entering a wild life conservation area where bird watchers and the like would observer waterfowl.. Well we decided to go in and see what was in there.. It was unbelievable there where ducks all over this pretty small pond/swamp area right next to the road. Well we smiled at the people looking at the fowl and jumped back into our car and continued to pond jump.. Well are luck was worse than before and we hadn't fired a round in a few hours and the sun was setting quickly.. I am not sure who thought of it first since we where both out of the same cloth at this point of our lives.. But we quickly came up with a plan.. We drove by the "viewing area" again and noticed no one was parked there any longer..Well JLO being the Alpha that he is and will always be had the insight to pull in and convince me that it was a brilliant idea to see if he could get a shot before anyone saw us..(Wow we where idiots)

I don't want to change this story but I think I said that maybe we shouldn't but I am not sure.. But I was not smart enough to convince JLO otherwise.. Instead I jumped behind the wheel of the getaway car.(Note it always the dumb guy in the get away car) which was our first offense since I was 15. JLO( I am not sure of all the facts on this one.) either points the gun out the window or stands in the open door of the car and readies himself) My job is to make sure no one sees us.. This isn't good we have underage driver behind the wheel of a car parked at a wild life observatory and I am supposed to be looking for people.. What would we do if someone pulled up (This is embarrassing I would kill my kids for doing this) we where all in as soon as JLO stood there in his full metal jacket.. Well JLO picked out a flock of ducks (Damn it Dad I said flock.. That is an inside 20 yr old joke please ignore) and fired I am not sure how many times now or if it was only once but it scared the death out of me and the thousands of ducks which immediately flew up.. JLO hopped in the car and we speed away hoping noticed the black cloud of fowl that was flying up behind us as we sped out on the highway with unlicensed driver behind the wheel.. (I am glad they didn't have cameras then) I am quite certain having hunted with JLO a few times and given the circumstances that no feather was touched that day.. (no fowl was injured during the telling of this story).. Again JLO my facts are almost always incorrect but they are my own so if I am telling this incorrectly I can't apologize because that is how I remember it.. But I think when you read JLO comments and posts from this point forward it will give you a frame reference that although I am still that dumb JLO was once as dumb..

I am hungry
FAT OUT

I got Nothing

I was out yesterday afternoon

We had company sponsored event which consisted of 100 "cool" IT people riding a casino boat on the Missippi River drinking and eating.. It was a good idea people that are not psychotic (Not good for me). I just do don't do well when I have to mingle with strange people.. I don't know if I smell (It was a Hot day and I had to walk about a mile to get the boat so well take that as Yes) or if I just look dumb (No I am dumb .. Read all previous posts) or what but everyone gives me the same bus/airplane "hope that fat guy doesn’t sit next to me" look when I approach them. Refer to Picture.. I think the Mr. Clean look is working for me.. But that bozo the clown look wasn't working either.. I still need to lose the side of beef that is my upper torso to maybe that would help . Or Maybe just like this blog is showing.. I bore people much as I bore myself.. Ohh The chicken on the Boat was good see now that doesn't help..

Guys Weekend
JLO,M5,IJ Help me out here.. Is there anything we need to due before guys weekend.. BS has a Volleyball net that would be really nice.. Can someone locate a good adult wiffle ball bat? Are we doing something other than eating drinking and wondering who can see there feet now.. JLO supreme alpha http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_male please give me some guidance..

Sports
Twins are playing unbelievable with the lineup they are throwing out there. It just proves baseball is about pitching.. Liriano is just nasty but I really think he is going to hurt his arm with all the hard sliders he throws. Please move Mauer to Third pencil him in for the next 15 years there.. Twolves are still trying to unload Jaric but they might have to throw in another draft choice to get rid of him.. Can you believe it that will be two 1's for him.. Its going to be a long winter.. Vikes are still undefeated. People are insane about the NFL nothing compares to it.. I will blog on that before the season begins..

That’s it
I am fat

Flag Waving

Hot Weekend
Yeah it was pretty hot this weekend.. (It is July.. ) Well our hamlet has decided to carry on the tradition of torturing the few un athletic teenagers from the surroungind communites by dressing them up in Nut Cracker uniforms and having them hold a hot piece of metal in 90 degree heat. While my wife carried on the traditon of dragging me to this ordeal every year.. I go know without a wimper.. Yet another step closer to being a complete Eunuch http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eunuch… (Please water the plant ..wow you would have to read this everday to get that one..) So as I sat there for the better part of 5 hours in the hot sun watching politicians stick stickers on my children and trying to figure out why it is ok for my wife to now cheer for my kids when they pick up hot tootsie rolls as they slide across the pavement that two minutes early where covered in Horse shit from the float ahead carrying the "big girls" from the farm community has chosen to honor there town by dressing them up in red nylon dresses and plunking them down on a plastic waterfall and have the people in the crowd pretend to smile as the sweat pools under there arms approach the size of a frisbee are pulled by clydesdales with legs slightly larger than Miss congenitality.. Just Stop it .. As I watch the third band go by I notice that when the flag people (What the heck are they people that just like spin flags what they can't play an instrument but they can spin a rainbow flag in a perfect arc..If my kids do that am I supposed to watch it..) go by one of them is a slightly overweight guy dressed in the same frilly jump suit as the girl flag twirlerers. I could care less if he is straight or not but I just can't get over where he could get this jump suit.. Mom can you sow up this pink and lavender jumpsuit up for me so I look like the other girls in the group… So I laughed and was given the dirty look by my wife) Cut to construction site : So Jim whats junior up to now he is pretty good sized kid is he playing football or hoops.. No. he decided to dress up in a polyester pink and lavender jump suit(with racing stripes) and carry a silver flag and wave it a perfect circular patterns in front of old people and kids chewing fece laden tootsie rolls. Ohh I bet your proud.. Life is cruel..

M5 IJ Boat

M5 was nice enough to give IJ his wife and my Wife a day on the St. Croix river.. It couldn't have been better other than I was short of new castles.. Didn't calculate bottles per lb correctly.. As we rode M5 30 ft phallic symbol down the river I couldn't help my self and I asked M5 if we could toss Heavy over board and pull him around the water in a small fatilla.. I was just thinking that I haven't been this comfortable in a long time when M5 decided he wanted to enjoy the fatilla as well and wreck my ride.. Well about 5 minutes of pulling M5 and myself through the water the little fatilla shattered due to M5's weight it couldn't have been me.. I will post some pictures while trying to spare any of you seeing me with my shirt off..


Movie
You Me and Dupree
It is what it is.. Kinda of cool premise but there was no chemistry between the characters.. Owen Wilson (The one with a Johnson for a nose) was pretty funny but he didn't have anybody to bounce the humor in like wedding crashers.. I will give this one baldy out of four and really should just be a rental..

A friend of mine sent me this.. Pretty well done review site..
http://www.joblo.com/

Denver J is out there

http://denverj1.blogspot.com/

DJ is who I consider the king of pop culture.. (Not Michael) If you want to know what is going on in the world this is your guy.. Who knows if he puts on a few lbs he might have a decent blog.. I will reference him and his blog often..

GO DJ Blog its your birfday..

D

Male Burka

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burqa
I can't think of a better solution to what my appearance has become.. It is perfect it would cover my humongous bald head it would mask my leean chins and with the flowing robe it might even hide cover my porcine shape.. And maybe with a little luck it will mask the fowl stench that is a byproduct of my eating habits.. It would really level the playing field out there for all guys.. You would really find out if women love guys for there personality yeah right.. I have been working the bald fat thing for years and I haven't really had the beat the women off of me with the stick.. Well maybe my wife but that is more of pity thing than anything. Or else kinda like when you go into the fridge looking for WD Coke to help wash down the lb of chocolate you are in the process of inhaling and you find out that the only thing in there is a caffeine free diet pepsi (why is this pop made.. No sugar buzz.. No caffeine Buz.. No Fiz.. I guess just helps ease the food down) but it is cold and it is in your fridge.. So when my wife opens the door to our bedroom and hopes for Brad Pitt and sees me it isn't what she really wanted but it is in her room.. You get the picture.. On second thought don't picture it if you are close to lunch time..
Can you play tennis in a burka..(no one could see your swass…) FT consider it..

DD update
DD had two hits (made contact with the ball and put into play) last night.. And according to my wife one of them would have been a real hit he was just too excited watching the ball to run real fast to first.. So that made my day..

Jottings
Almost made a fat guy puke last night.. There was this guy playing first for the other team that was biscuit shot of a double deuce (400) standing next to me last night when BS ran by.. He asked me when was the last time I shaved my head.. I came back with a pithy comment that I wish I could use Naire on my head like I do on my ass it seems to be smooth and silky.. The large one looked at me and said he wish he hadn't heard that.. He thought about it for a second and shook his head and looked and me and said Dude your really sick.. I appreciated that.. I am thinking of not playing for my softball team next they do not stock Newcastle at the bar.. I was soothed by BS paying for some Sam Adams.. Why does free beer taste better.

One one more thing DJ sent me this if are a fan of the office this is great and free..
WEBOFFICE

If anything they want me to post our review or make fun post a comment..

To clarify IJ Comment http://www.blackwagon.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/onesie_ramones_lg.jpg

I like the term fatsie. I am hoping it is not trademarked..

Heavy OUT

Tennis Swuts

Well FT and I decided to play tennis this week since we are both in such great shape that the 90 degree should not affect us.. Well FT being from the privileged area of Minnesota I was assuming he was going to be "fabulous" tennis player if you know what I mean.. Well for some reason FT didn't own a racquet so I borrowed him an extra one.. Within the first 5 minutes of play the racquet was broken and we where off to purchase another one for himself.. So FT and I avoided his luxury late model foreign sedan and opted to drive in my car so that we wouldn't get our swuts on his seats..

Well after we had purchased the most expensive racquet that money could buy on a DINK IT salary.. (Around 50 bucks paid in 10 monthly installments) we began or "match". Well to describe what occurred on the "tennis" courts to be tennis would be a disaccredit to the sport.. After playing for 90 seconds I was swassy,swelly and had some pretty nasty swuts.. FT who apparently thinks it is appropriate to display his swelly in public took his shirt off and displayed his nauseating upper body and swipples..(but I think it allowed him to win a few games sort of the shock and awe factor) We had played just about 5 games when FT said "I know you have a lot of heart issues so if you die out here I win " I don't know why he thought since my bald egg looked very similar to an eggplant in shape and color… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Aubergines.jpg.. When all was said and done and FT was seeing double due to heat exhaustion and I was panting like I just walked a flight of stairs.. (yeah I am not in real good shape but it's steady since I am a the same level of exhaustion whether I take 1 step or run 3 miles "So I got that going for Me".. . ) The match ended and Tim decided that 15 lbs of fluid left on the court was enough for one day..


Movies
I finally watched Munich http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/munich/ well I think everyone should attempt to watch it for some historical knowledge of an event that I had seen glimpse of but really never knew what actually occurred should see it.. The only problem was I was left with same bit of clips and bits of information to go on.. I really wanted to like this movie but if anyone besides Spielberg had done this movie it would have never made the theaters.. This wasn't good filmmaking it was as scattered brained as this blog.. They assumed way too much and never gave the viewer anything to hold on to and really feel anything about.. The facts where all over the acting was minimal and I thought the sets and dialogue where weak and added nothing to these movie.. But it is Spielberg and he is just another plane than you (Yeah not the case on this one).. Whatever this movie could have been amazing story instead of some chopped up "cinematic scenes" that where so interesting and emotional.. I am dumb but this movie was a waste of my time.. .5 baldies out of 4.. 1 dollar at redbox was about right for this movie..

TV
DJ told me to watch the Dave Chappell show.. I watch one old and one lost episode from this season.. He is a funny guy but his humor is just a black version of "blue collar tv or whatever" it is pretty simple humor that is at time original but I just didn't laugh out load.. I will watch a few but I am still not sold on the best new comedian.. I do like his anger though..


Sports
If the nba has division for all guys under 6'4 we will be set.. I respect KG for quite a few things but I think it is pretty cool that he travels the world in the off-season instead of "Meloing" with his Boouys by the pool in latterdale.. He called Mike James from China.. I wonder if he sticks out there at all..

Hate the weight not the gain