Too Dumb to Change Welcome McCACK

Apparently the audience has reached more than 3 people which was the original audience for this blog.. IJ has been berating me for my content in the blog.. Apparently I make too many jokes about my weight and bald head.. Maybe I should freshen it up and talk about other things like the new guthrie opening or Hezbollah or some nice recipes for zucchini (Wait a minute that might be a good idea) or the trials and tribulations of raising kids in today's society.. No not here not ever.. .This is going to be the same boring drivel that it started out as and will continue to be.. Maybe I should start rereading the things I spew out of my keyboard maybe I could even have an original thought every once and awhile.. Maybe I could be happy and content and maybe I could go through an entire day without taking in 4000 calories (There I go again) .. It is what it is..

There has been some complaints about not being invited to guys weekend.. This is an old school group of my high school classmates and a rich single that gives us someone to tell us stories about what our life might be if we where all weighed 70 lbs less (There I go again) and where wealthy without children.. (Perhaps a heavyd blogging weekend is in order) ..

Another Bus trip
FT and I rode the melting pot bus on Friday afternoon.. Well 4 nationalities into the ride I see a young want to be ghetto pregnant girl on the front of the bus confronting the bus driver.. (You know the type waving here hand like a sista even though she is as white as kevin mchale and doing "OHH NO YOU DININT JUST SA DAT TO ME" "I WILL HIT YOU UPSIDE YOUR HEAD YOU MF B%^$TCH") Well even FT notiecs this event after he cases the bus for the opera man ("PLEASE CLOSE THE WINDOW") .. Well too make this short the bus driver calls the police and doesn't acknowledge the crazy women raising here purse to hit the driver.. As luck would have it the bus driver finally has to let this lunatic of the bus and after 5 minutes of waiting for the police to arrive FT and I decide to get off the bus.. I am not kidding we step off the bus and the driver takes off. I am little swassy and FT is being his usual cool self by opening up his laptop and searching for open wifi connections.(he was unable to achieve a signal due to his ). I am stuck having to talk to this angry chick for the next 20 minutes waiting for another bus to arrive.. Oh and while we are standing there A kid rides by on his bike pretty close and this chick you remember is pregant screams at this kid like she is going to fight him.. So I was pretty comfortable. Sometimes I wonder why everything in politics,tv,movies is so dumbed down.. This answered the question for me..

Movies
IJ and where desperate too se a good film so we looked at the current stuff out there.. So there is some movies that you just can't see with another guy. Like any movie with shirley Mclaine or Meryl Streep.. So we through out Devil Wears Prada .. You wouldn't have to be gay to enjoy this but it would help. Clerks 2 I would have seen but IJ hates Kevin Smith.. This went on and on and we actually considered the m.night shalom or whatever move chicks under the pool or whatever.. The reviews where so bad that we just stomach the eight bucks for it..
We decided that we should see the my girlfriend is a super hero or whatever.. We just couldn't do it.. THERE IS NOTHING OUT THERE..
So we went to blockbuster and rented The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada .. it’s a Tommy Lee Jones movie that he directed.. Its got the sharp shooter from private ryan pepper or something… (This guy is weird actor but he did a good job in this) The movie is shot really cool and gives you kinda of cool new look at the countryside in southern Texas and mexico.. The story is pretty simple and they don't really spell anything out for you but it really worked for me.. If you want a good rental I would check this out.. I give it 3 baldies out of 4..


Sports
The Vikes season is getting closer.. Let me prep everyone cover 2, red zone, its about getting better everyday, Runs a tight ship, the offense starts up front, Brads won a superbowl before, great team guy, yards after catch, plays within himself, okk that is enough.. Twins man Liriano was just nasty in the first 4 innings this guy could be a CY young contender.. This is too long today..


How
How called me this morning and is dying for the intro.. Holler JLO..

THE ONE THE ONLY under his pen name (heavyJ)

First...How is as solid as any of the GW brothers. I've known this guy for 26 years, played H.S. football with him, been in a serious car accident with this guy, hunted deer with the man (when we shoot together at a deer, How always makes the kill shot, and I usually miss...according to HOW), attended numerous sporting events with him (usually after putting up with the obligatory dad's gas credit card joke and him then coming through with great seats for me and the gang), buried a friend's wife with him, had a couple of interesting fights with him, christened children with him, best man in his wedding (he...the best man in mine)...all around scrappy little Irish bastard with a heart of gold, and a face that's a cross between Brad Pitt and Dr. Cornelius from "Planet of the Apes". The only thing bad I've got to say about How is his pathetic nickname. Hoooowwww?...come on!!!...needs to be something more reflective of his Irish and Simeon roots...I'm proposing "McKack"...a little bit of charm from the Emerald Isle, a little bit of lice picking, tree clinging, plantain eating, prank playing monkey from the plains or jungles, or where ever "McKacks" reside in Africa. McKack (notice also how the first three letters bear some resemblance to his real surname) is a real stand up guy, who barely takes the time to sit down...he's always on the go...I'm proud to introduce...MR. MCKACK!!!

heavyD
I really enjoy the softening of the person up with the hugs and kisses before stabbing him in the chest.. Well DONE.

Portly out..

Metro

Ok..What is wrong with the Cheese Cake factory..
I have been ridiculed by FT for meeting with my homies at Cheese Cake Factory and having dinner. Apparently it is being too metro to sip Mimosas with a few of my close friends and share cheesecake.. Yeah he is right but if I have to choose between looking a little light and eating something good food will always win.. (Hence the name)

I am actually getting through another book and am wondering what suggestions people have as well as there review of the book.. I like complex stories with a small amount of characters.. I find that if a book has too many names I lose track of who is what.. Damn I wish I wasn't so dumb..

Anybody not from h2o please skip.
Let me introduce somebody else from guys weekend.. HOW.. How should I start.. Yuck that didn't work.. The facts are all according to me so when I am wrong it another case of me being dumb not intentional (read JLO post). Supreme athlete marathon runner nope.. Getting knocked out on film at Holy Angels naw too easy.. Falling asleep during conversation with the brother J's father nope.. Bringing vendors to a friends cabin no that's just sad.. The hair brush incident no that my reinforce the metro thing.. No.. I can't do this justice.. I am going to give this piece up to JLO.. JLO please introduce the one the only HOW -- I will insert it here---

Sports
SW sent me this article from espn page 2
"5. Joey Harrington is going to beat out Daunte Culpepper by midseason.
I've never been a Daunte fan. Never. I was irate when the Vikings drafted him just months after Jeff George had a great season. But it's deeper than my allegiance to George.
Daunte is not a student of the game. He doesn't read defenses. He's going to get exposed in Miami because his mobility is gone and he's going to be forced to stand in the pocket and make reads. It won't be pretty. "
It really shows how one great athlete can change the NFL game.. Randy Moss in his prime made being a quartback so simple( I don't if he lost his mojo or what but he looked slow and normal last year).. He streched the defense made the reads so simple if the saftey went with him through to the reciever that was singled up on that side of the field. Daunte Culpeeper is horrible under pressure and was such a tremedous athlete that he never truly understood how to read and react to defenses he usually just let his ability carry him. You think about Kubel for the twins is having problems with his knees over a year later and he is younger and lighter and know one is hitting him.. Daunte is a long way away from healthy and when healthy he is a great athlete but not a great quarterback.. No.. I am not a Brad Johnson fan.. I think he is a great guy but he is not going to carry this team he hopefully stays healthy and completes the simple passes that the Philly offense requires.. (By the way I can't stand McNabb) Even though I am Vikes fan I cannot deny that Favre is an Amazing talent that although incredibly dumb is one of the best throwers to ever play the game.. And he is one tough SOB.. If I had to win one guy with one guy in his prime.. I would choose Dan Marino.. Don't hate just my opinion please give me yours..

Welcome JLO

jottings
A couple of items of note from yesterday.. While FT and I entered the boat.. (I made sure we where on opposites sides of the boat that reminds me of Montgomery J who was recently on a cruise in the Caribbean SHip perhaps he should position himself amidships on the boat. ) FT decides on a course of action to meet new people from the company.. (We where all given two drink tickets) He says to me "Hey let's try and get to the alcoholics first" I am dumb so it took me awhile but it came to me he could pick out the people drinking soda and somehow make idle chit chat and bring up the fact they where not drinking to lure the alcoholics into giving him the tickets to not make an issue of them not drinking.. (Disgusting but a good plan) but as usual the privileged people like FT don't pay anything.


JLO Blog
JLO Your use of the English language is loquacious and I marvel at the ease that it spews from your keyboard. I am not worthy of posting with you on the same blog/server/service/subnet/Uunet/internet.. My nascarish blog would be humbled by you and your vast vernacular.. That said the term for Poly-blog is a team blog and it is possible at this site.. I would be more than happy to turn this blog into one of those but it might risk losing the personal Heavydness of the blog and people would wonder when they start seeing articulate posts using appropriate syntax and spelling as well as proper use of the English languageÂ… So send me your posts and I will post them with my post for the day or on its own..


Welcome JLO
I think I need to appropriately introduce JLO.. I don't know the origin of the LO part of his name since it has become apart of his name like kleenex is to tissue or rotund one is to me but if he would like to post on where that came from I think it would help us truly understand JLO.. Where do I start since I have known JLO for so long.. He is an avid hunter (not really but it brings up a great story that kinda sums up JLO). JLO was 17 or so and I was 15 at the time (this is important) and we had duck hunted a few times (I was dumber then I hate duck hunting now) without much luck.(That could be due to the fact that we never wore camouflage and sat in a silver fishing boat without any cover) other than irritating every duck hunter within range.. Well JLO and myself had heard about people that would do something called pond jumping (which really meant that you drove around and looked for a small body of water and would sneak up on it and jump the ducks) well JLO and I start trying this without any luck at all but we keep seeing these recurring them where when we would jump the ducks they would circle and fly to this one general area so after a few hours of this we thought we would try and go to this area.. Well as we approached the duck gathering point we realized that we where entering a wild life conservation area where bird watchers and the like would observer waterfowl.. Well we decided to go in and see what was in there.. It was unbelievable there where ducks all over this pretty small pond/swamp area right next to the road. Well we smiled at the people looking at the fowl and jumped back into our car and continued to pond jump.. Well are luck was worse than before and we hadn't fired a round in a few hours and the sun was setting quickly.. I am not sure who thought of it first since we where both out of the same cloth at this point of our lives.. But we quickly came up with a plan.. We drove by the "viewing area" again and noticed no one was parked there any longer..Well JLO being the Alpha that he is and will always be had the insight to pull in and convince me that it was a brilliant idea to see if he could get a shot before anyone saw us..(Wow we where idiots)

I don't want to change this story but I think I said that maybe we shouldn't but I am not sure.. But I was not smart enough to convince JLO otherwise.. Instead I jumped behind the wheel of the getaway car.(Note it always the dumb guy in the get away car) which was our first offense since I was 15. JLO( I am not sure of all the facts on this one.) either points the gun out the window or stands in the open door of the car and readies himself) My job is to make sure no one sees us.. This isn't good we have underage driver behind the wheel of a car parked at a wild life observatory and I am supposed to be looking for people.. What would we do if someone pulled up (This is embarrassing I would kill my kids for doing this) we where all in as soon as JLO stood there in his full metal jacket.. Well JLO picked out a flock of ducks (Damn it Dad I said flock.. That is an inside 20 yr old joke please ignore) and fired I am not sure how many times now or if it was only once but it scared the death out of me and the thousands of ducks which immediately flew up.. JLO hopped in the car and we speed away hoping noticed the black cloud of fowl that was flying up behind us as we sped out on the highway with unlicensed driver behind the wheel.. (I am glad they didn't have cameras then) I am quite certain having hunted with JLO a few times and given the circumstances that no feather was touched that day.. (no fowl was injured during the telling of this story).. Again JLO my facts are almost always incorrect but they are my own so if I am telling this incorrectly I can't apologize because that is how I remember it.. But I think when you read JLO comments and posts from this point forward it will give you a frame reference that although I am still that dumb JLO was once as dumb..

I am hungry
FAT OUT

I got Nothing

I was out yesterday afternoon

We had company sponsored event which consisted of 100 "cool" IT people riding a casino boat on the Missippi River drinking and eating.. It was a good idea people that are not psychotic (Not good for me). I just do don't do well when I have to mingle with strange people.. I don't know if I smell (It was a Hot day and I had to walk about a mile to get the boat so well take that as Yes) or if I just look dumb (No I am dumb .. Read all previous posts) or what but everyone gives me the same bus/airplane "hope that fat guy doesn’t sit next to me" look when I approach them. Refer to Picture.. I think the Mr. Clean look is working for me.. But that bozo the clown look wasn't working either.. I still need to lose the side of beef that is my upper torso to maybe that would help . Or Maybe just like this blog is showing.. I bore people much as I bore myself.. Ohh The chicken on the Boat was good see now that doesn't help..

Guys Weekend
JLO,M5,IJ Help me out here.. Is there anything we need to due before guys weekend.. BS has a Volleyball net that would be really nice.. Can someone locate a good adult wiffle ball bat? Are we doing something other than eating drinking and wondering who can see there feet now.. JLO supreme alpha http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_male please give me some guidance..

Sports
Twins are playing unbelievable with the lineup they are throwing out there. It just proves baseball is about pitching.. Liriano is just nasty but I really think he is going to hurt his arm with all the hard sliders he throws. Please move Mauer to Third pencil him in for the next 15 years there.. Twolves are still trying to unload Jaric but they might have to throw in another draft choice to get rid of him.. Can you believe it that will be two 1's for him.. Its going to be a long winter.. Vikes are still undefeated. People are insane about the NFL nothing compares to it.. I will blog on that before the season begins..

That’s it
I am fat

Flag Waving

Hot Weekend
Yeah it was pretty hot this weekend.. (It is July.. ) Well our hamlet has decided to carry on the tradition of torturing the few un athletic teenagers from the surroungind communites by dressing them up in Nut Cracker uniforms and having them hold a hot piece of metal in 90 degree heat. While my wife carried on the traditon of dragging me to this ordeal every year.. I go know without a wimper.. Yet another step closer to being a complete Eunuch http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eunuch… (Please water the plant ..wow you would have to read this everday to get that one..) So as I sat there for the better part of 5 hours in the hot sun watching politicians stick stickers on my children and trying to figure out why it is ok for my wife to now cheer for my kids when they pick up hot tootsie rolls as they slide across the pavement that two minutes early where covered in Horse shit from the float ahead carrying the "big girls" from the farm community has chosen to honor there town by dressing them up in red nylon dresses and plunking them down on a plastic waterfall and have the people in the crowd pretend to smile as the sweat pools under there arms approach the size of a frisbee are pulled by clydesdales with legs slightly larger than Miss congenitality.. Just Stop it .. As I watch the third band go by I notice that when the flag people (What the heck are they people that just like spin flags what they can't play an instrument but they can spin a rainbow flag in a perfect arc..If my kids do that am I supposed to watch it..) go by one of them is a slightly overweight guy dressed in the same frilly jump suit as the girl flag twirlerers. I could care less if he is straight or not but I just can't get over where he could get this jump suit.. Mom can you sow up this pink and lavender jumpsuit up for me so I look like the other girls in the group… So I laughed and was given the dirty look by my wife) Cut to construction site : So Jim whats junior up to now he is pretty good sized kid is he playing football or hoops.. No. he decided to dress up in a polyester pink and lavender jump suit(with racing stripes) and carry a silver flag and wave it a perfect circular patterns in front of old people and kids chewing fece laden tootsie rolls. Ohh I bet your proud.. Life is cruel..

M5 IJ Boat

M5 was nice enough to give IJ his wife and my Wife a day on the St. Croix river.. It couldn't have been better other than I was short of new castles.. Didn't calculate bottles per lb correctly.. As we rode M5 30 ft phallic symbol down the river I couldn't help my self and I asked M5 if we could toss Heavy over board and pull him around the water in a small fatilla.. I was just thinking that I haven't been this comfortable in a long time when M5 decided he wanted to enjoy the fatilla as well and wreck my ride.. Well about 5 minutes of pulling M5 and myself through the water the little fatilla shattered due to M5's weight it couldn't have been me.. I will post some pictures while trying to spare any of you seeing me with my shirt off..


Movie
You Me and Dupree
It is what it is.. Kinda of cool premise but there was no chemistry between the characters.. Owen Wilson (The one with a Johnson for a nose) was pretty funny but he didn't have anybody to bounce the humor in like wedding crashers.. I will give this one baldy out of four and really should just be a rental..

A friend of mine sent me this.. Pretty well done review site..
http://www.joblo.com/

Denver J is out there

http://denverj1.blogspot.com/

DJ is who I consider the king of pop culture.. (Not Michael) If you want to know what is going on in the world this is your guy.. Who knows if he puts on a few lbs he might have a decent blog.. I will reference him and his blog often..

GO DJ Blog its your birfday..

D

Male Burka

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burqa
I can't think of a better solution to what my appearance has become.. It is perfect it would cover my humongous bald head it would mask my leean chins and with the flowing robe it might even hide cover my porcine shape.. And maybe with a little luck it will mask the fowl stench that is a byproduct of my eating habits.. It would really level the playing field out there for all guys.. You would really find out if women love guys for there personality yeah right.. I have been working the bald fat thing for years and I haven't really had the beat the women off of me with the stick.. Well maybe my wife but that is more of pity thing than anything. Or else kinda like when you go into the fridge looking for WD Coke to help wash down the lb of chocolate you are in the process of inhaling and you find out that the only thing in there is a caffeine free diet pepsi (why is this pop made.. No sugar buzz.. No caffeine Buz.. No Fiz.. I guess just helps ease the food down) but it is cold and it is in your fridge.. So when my wife opens the door to our bedroom and hopes for Brad Pitt and sees me it isn't what she really wanted but it is in her room.. You get the picture.. On second thought don't picture it if you are close to lunch time..
Can you play tennis in a burka..(no one could see your swass…) FT consider it..

DD update
DD had two hits (made contact with the ball and put into play) last night.. And according to my wife one of them would have been a real hit he was just too excited watching the ball to run real fast to first.. So that made my day..

Jottings
Almost made a fat guy puke last night.. There was this guy playing first for the other team that was biscuit shot of a double deuce (400) standing next to me last night when BS ran by.. He asked me when was the last time I shaved my head.. I came back with a pithy comment that I wish I could use Naire on my head like I do on my ass it seems to be smooth and silky.. The large one looked at me and said he wish he hadn't heard that.. He thought about it for a second and shook his head and looked and me and said Dude your really sick.. I appreciated that.. I am thinking of not playing for my softball team next they do not stock Newcastle at the bar.. I was soothed by BS paying for some Sam Adams.. Why does free beer taste better.

One one more thing DJ sent me this if are a fan of the office this is great and free..
WEBOFFICE

If anything they want me to post our review or make fun post a comment..

To clarify IJ Comment http://www.blackwagon.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/onesie_ramones_lg.jpg

I like the term fatsie. I am hoping it is not trademarked..

Heavy OUT

Tennis Swuts

Well FT and I decided to play tennis this week since we are both in such great shape that the 90 degree should not affect us.. Well FT being from the privileged area of Minnesota I was assuming he was going to be "fabulous" tennis player if you know what I mean.. Well for some reason FT didn't own a racquet so I borrowed him an extra one.. Within the first 5 minutes of play the racquet was broken and we where off to purchase another one for himself.. So FT and I avoided his luxury late model foreign sedan and opted to drive in my car so that we wouldn't get our swuts on his seats..

Well after we had purchased the most expensive racquet that money could buy on a DINK IT salary.. (Around 50 bucks paid in 10 monthly installments) we began or "match". Well to describe what occurred on the "tennis" courts to be tennis would be a disaccredit to the sport.. After playing for 90 seconds I was swassy,swelly and had some pretty nasty swuts.. FT who apparently thinks it is appropriate to display his swelly in public took his shirt off and displayed his nauseating upper body and swipples..(but I think it allowed him to win a few games sort of the shock and awe factor) We had played just about 5 games when FT said "I know you have a lot of heart issues so if you die out here I win " I don't know why he thought since my bald egg looked very similar to an eggplant in shape and color… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Aubergines.jpg.. When all was said and done and FT was seeing double due to heat exhaustion and I was panting like I just walked a flight of stairs.. (yeah I am not in real good shape but it's steady since I am a the same level of exhaustion whether I take 1 step or run 3 miles "So I got that going for Me".. . ) The match ended and Tim decided that 15 lbs of fluid left on the court was enough for one day..


Movies
I finally watched Munich http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/munich/ well I think everyone should attempt to watch it for some historical knowledge of an event that I had seen glimpse of but really never knew what actually occurred should see it.. The only problem was I was left with same bit of clips and bits of information to go on.. I really wanted to like this movie but if anyone besides Spielberg had done this movie it would have never made the theaters.. This wasn't good filmmaking it was as scattered brained as this blog.. They assumed way too much and never gave the viewer anything to hold on to and really feel anything about.. The facts where all over the acting was minimal and I thought the sets and dialogue where weak and added nothing to these movie.. But it is Spielberg and he is just another plane than you (Yeah not the case on this one).. Whatever this movie could have been amazing story instead of some chopped up "cinematic scenes" that where so interesting and emotional.. I am dumb but this movie was a waste of my time.. .5 baldies out of 4.. 1 dollar at redbox was about right for this movie..

TV
DJ told me to watch the Dave Chappell show.. I watch one old and one lost episode from this season.. He is a funny guy but his humor is just a black version of "blue collar tv or whatever" it is pretty simple humor that is at time original but I just didn't laugh out load.. I will watch a few but I am still not sold on the best new comedian.. I do like his anger though..


Sports
If the nba has division for all guys under 6'4 we will be set.. I respect KG for quite a few things but I think it is pretty cool that he travels the world in the off-season instead of "Meloing" with his Boouys by the pool in latterdale.. He called Mike James from China.. I wonder if he sticks out there at all..

Hate the weight not the gain

Just need to ramble today..

Sitting on the bus this morning a man was sitting directly across from me in the handicapped/too fat to squeeze into a normal seat section. This gentlemen teetered on the 5.5 bill range considering he was a good 6'5 and he was roughly twice my girth.. As he and I sweat like to fat chicks running after a sausage biscuit I noticed as he un wrapped a cold bevarage from his Paul Bunyan like backpack/lunch bag that he was drinking a 2 liter bottle of diet coke that looked like sippy cup in the hands of this giant. Now I don't this would make good material for coke commericial but it reinforced my belief that there is something in Diet beverages that seems to make the big bigger.. I mean who I am kidding when I order my cheesburger kicker to my Big Mac ohh and make sure I get a refil of my Diet Coke like that is helping curb the 750 extra calories I am consuming.. Can we lose the Diet infront of the name.. Maybe we should go with food something like food lube coke or WD40 coke because really that is really how it is being used we really are just using it to make the lard and starch fall into or stomach easier.. Wait a second I need to take a sip of FL coke before I eat my donut..

Some Recommondations from the J's
Per DJ I watched the free TV episode of Sunny in Phillly or something like plus some making of stuff that when along with it.. I think I get it and actually made me chuckle a few times.. It sort of a poor mans entourage where three losers own a bar and make fun of each other.. Not bad if you enjoy the guy humor and some original dialolgue. Per IJ I watched the Bono interview/tour of I think tanzania.. Bono is an intersting guy whose new sales pitch to save the people that are dying at an unbleivalble rate is very straight forward and really made me understand how he has sold Bush (Even though you can tell that he can't stand him) Gates and Buffet.. His idea is to make a investment in this country by assisting them and letting the world no that the US is understanding place that is only trying to help.. Which in turn will create this economy of people that will love the US and want to purchase or goods and services as well as planting a seed within the continent that this country has ties to the US and they are successful maybe we should rethink our hatred.. Nice cost effective way (Iraq is not cheap) of investing in a country that actually help us out in the long run instead of creating new ways to kill us.. Sorry the last part was my opinion..

Jottings
The wolves signed James.. The good news is they got they wanted..(Insert NBA Mangement here Can't believe he was still availabe to us) the bad news is that this orgainization doesn't know what they want or how they judge talent.. It was a move and I am ok with it… No Draft picks where used and someone else actually wanted him so that is good. If I can get SW and BS to send me an email I will post there thoughts on this as well.. SW give me the wolves starting lineup and tell me what you think they can do this year..

This is a two post day.. Still need to post about Tennis..

Large

Post for JLO just because I enjoy his Comments

I love your comments and have passed them on to my co workers.. Being the wonderful parent that I am I try to evaluate a movie that I believe is borderline PG13(hence the rating) before I send my kids to that movie. That being said when IJ and myself attend a movie perhaps it is the lack of children and the abundance of Diet Coke and Pop Corn that makes the movie not only tolerable but a fun ride. Based on your recommendation I am going to see that movie.. But if it is a simplistic stab at Bush and his policies.. I am soo bored with that.. I really enjoy opinions that are not blindly put out there with a political agenda.. But If people quote FOX news or Rush I am probably going to disagree simply on what you term as a basis of fact.. I know you are closet Wellstoner and probably siding with the creator of the internet.. But there is no way that a Democrat or Republican is going to get my vote unless they bring something to the table other than the simplistic party lines that the Democratic party has put out there since Clinton.. The only reason people are voting for Republicans other than being simple are that the single issue voters (Bible Belt) will not vote for any leader based on those issues..


Ish no more politics in this blog just had to respond to JLO..

If JLO will let me I will do a brief welcome to the blog on JLO... And being the Alpha of all Alpha males for guys weekend I could dedicate a week of introducing all of the guys from guys weekend on the blog before guys weekend.. No Names will be usede except maybe HOW..

JLO you have the CON.. Can I or should I..

JLO being the porcine man that I am I believe I can still be titled heavyd..

PorcineD out..

Boring Post

Ok.. The "couples shower" took about 25 minutes.. But really it wasn't a bad trip although it was 12 hours of driving in a weekend..If you don't have an ipod this trip would make you buy one.. I was able to drift into sleep while listening to a little Steve Perry and wondering what my life has become some 20 years later..Thinking,wondering,half asleep turn the pod up louder to drown out some horrible kids movie playing in the background..Would I change anything I did or do something to alter what I have become at this point.. This gets a little deep so skip this next paragraph..

This is for me
Please SKIP

Wish I would have found out DD's illness sooner..Wish I could have told my brother that his life was going to be shortened if he didn't change something.. Wish I could have been a better parent when my kids where younger.. Wish I would have tried a different career.. Wish I could have had a career with less acronyms.. Wish that my wife would have traveled more.. You know what.. I really don't regret my decisions I have made or how I made them I never really made any decisions that I didn't think about and look at the ramifications of my decisions and how they would affect the people around me.. (Wish I didn't always do that).. I am still happy.. I am proud of my family and I wouldn't change a thing.. (I wish I could tell my big bro this because in the end I really just wanted to let him know how much he helped me along the way).. Sometimes you have people that are full of shit when they tell you to don't do what I do.. Do what is right for you and you alone.. My Big bro and I used to talk to each other about 3 times a week about life and what we would do if our roles where reversed in life because they where so different. He always questioned my decisions because he wanted to walk in my shoes to see what he would have done and to really look at what made me tick I tried but could never really understand his world and what made him tick.. I can't describe it.. We laughed at each other and about each other… But I knew deep down that if he didn't change something he was going to die.. But I was too selfish to tell him because I was worried that would betray the friendship we had and he would feel that I was judging his life.. Well the end result was that he never changed and we where close all the way to the end.. Was it the right move.. Probably not.. This is going to seem weird but I still talk to him… Man this is a long car ride..

Normal Stuff Again

Ok.. Back to the important stuff.. This weekend I played 30 holes of golf (First time this year) I played my usual bogey game so that really makes me annoyed that this "sport" I play I never really get better or much worse I am just constantly frustrated not bad for 100 bucks.. Any way the kids had a great time swimming at the country club and watching fireworks.. Living in a small town where nothing has changed in the last 50 years does have its advantages.. It was great to be a guy then.. Where your job consisted of mowing the lawn and playing golf on the weekends at the country club not a bad gig if you can get it.. I am done rambling.. And boring you all.. I am going to need blog about being a guy in today's society .. But I don't have the time today..


Movies
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Deep was just so great again.. That character he plays is just fun to watch on the screen.. The special effects where outstanding..
I could make these reviews longer but it is really summed up quickly by putting movies in a categories.. This movie was to entertain only not a great not great acting but it was like a wild visual ride with some funny moments along the way.. A solid summer movie I give it 3 baldies.. Another note I am not going to have the kids see it.. A little too scary and few parts like a bird picking out the eyes of a corpse that wouldn't be good for them..

Walk the Line
I watched this on the pod.. Phoenix is just so good in this.. The music was solid.. I have watched this 3 or 4 times and just enjoy the movie more each time.. This is a simple story about the life of Jonny Cash but it is acted and told very well.. 3.5 baldies


Trying to lose weight.. Man that makes me hungry.. Why is that..

Heavy Out

Welcome FT and Bus Ride

Ohh getting ready for weekend 298 mi (about 6 hours 4 mins) each way..
I have my pod loaded with movies and I have a new book to read.. So I should be good to go..
Even though I knew I was going I still fought going which was dumb know my wife is pissed at me and I am still traveling 12 hours in a car with her this weekend.. When will I learn..


Bus
FT(Fat Tim a new character in this blog) FT is a washed up former athlete like myself that still believes he is afletic because he can still dunk the basketball while still maintaining his porcine shape. He has been given everything in life.. Grew up in an affluent western suburb where all the guys names are skip and blake and attended an expensive private college all expenses paid.. And now has acreage near the st. croix..



Well when FT and I arrived at the Bus stop we attempted to hurry to the back off the bus to take get the seats where FT could stretch his belly and long legs on the seats that face the isle.. I just face the isle due to the sheer volume of space that I occupy.. Well as we took a tour through most of the Hindu and Muslim states while looking for our spot. (Does it alarm anyone when people of middle eastern heritage carry large full backups (it is not lunch) on a bus for a 20 minute drive.. I am not profiling just stating that I am aware of the risk and apparently am ok with it. it was a nice run ). So FT grabs a seat on one side and I grab a few seats on the other side of the bus so we are facing each other trust me this is important to the story(Seriuosly when I sit I occupy a minimum of two seats.. ) Well I case the entire bus which is my normal activity(The next part really scares me about myself but its true) I have made up the life story of everyone around me and how they arrived on that bus this morning.. Well there is a man in his early 50's dressed in casual business attire sitting on the back seat of bus facing FT and he appears like a normal person who is wife stays with because her options are limited at this point in her life and he is tolerable but really a shell of his former self but is like a plant that has outgrown its usefulness but you keep it around because your used to it and it doesn't go outside of it's pot.(Damn I am weird) I examine this guy and notice that he is wrapping up his headphones and it appears he is winding them like he is trying to create the first giant ball of wire to match the twine guy in Darwin MN. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/MNDARtwine.html..


Well I notice that and start thinking of ways to restrain this guy while maintaining an exit strategy for myself on the bus.. Well out of the blue and for no apparent reason this guy looks down at his paper and an operatic voice he sings out PLEASE CLOSE THE WINDOW.. It is so loud that FT eyes spring open and I can see his Flight or Fight reflexes have kicked in and he looks at me and I think he is going to yell out "Lets Roll" but I am thinking who is the guy talking to because FT and I are the only ones on the back of the bus that can even understand english and it is limited at best.. Well he lets another blast at an even greater volume PLEASE CLOSE THE WINDOW.. Now I am just a little bit uneasy but I am quite certain he will attack FT first and that will give me ample time to lunge across the isle and put this poor miserable creature out of his and wife's misery with a well placed forearm to the throat.. Well apparently this man is sick of being ignored at home and on the bus so he gets starts this guttural obscenity stream of NOW THAT I GOT YOU F*&*&ING ATTENTION YOU SOB'S AND BLAH BLAH.. I missed the last part as I was reaching for the string to ring the bus driver to stop so I could get off the bus..(I am real tough) As I scurried off the bus I was trying to calculate how many years it would be before I started singing out on the bus..
I think this blog is step 1..

In an operatic voice PLEASE READ MY BLOG
To steal a lyric




If someone stood up in a crowd

And raised his voice up way out loud

And waved his arm

And shook his leg

You'd notice him



If someone in a movie show

Yelled "fired in the second row,

This whole place is a powder keg!"

You'd notice him



And even without clucking like a hen

Everyone gets noticed, now and then,

Unless, of course, that personage should be

Invisible, inconsequential me!



Cellophane

Mister cellophane

Should have been my name !!!!

Mister cellophane

'cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me

And never know I'm there!



I tell ya

Cellophane

Mister cellophane

Should have been my name

Mister cellophane

'cause you can look right through me walk right by me

And never know I'm there. . .



Suppose you was a little cat

Residin' in a person's flat

Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?

You'd notice him



Suppose you was a woman wed

And sleepin' in a double bed beside one man for seven years

You'd notice him



A human being's made of more than air

With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there



Unless that human bein' next to you

Is unimpressive, undistinguished

You know who. . .



Should have been my name

Mister cellophane

'cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me

And never know I'm there

I tell ya

Cellophane

Mister cellophane

Should have been my name

Mister cellophane

'cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me

And never know I'm there

Never even know I'm there

Chicago Soundtrack Lyrics

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Artist: John C. Reilly Lyrics
Song: Mister Cellophane Lyrics



Heavy in IOWA out...

Name 10,000 things I would rather do

This helped I looked at what we had to eat this weekend.. It calmed me..

Just a quick ramble today..

I have to go to IOWA to a couples shower.. Why why why..
Who makes this stuff up and why are they still alive.. I will need to add to this in the morning.. I am too angry to do this justice..

PHAT OUT

How many bottles per pound..

I am dead in the water today after the long weekend so this is going to be a slow ramble.. Well the weather could not have been any better and the beer any colder this weekend.. IJ and had our families at the cabin all weekend long.. To sum up the weekend I fashioned a WT version of a tow rope for the boat and pulled the kids on tube.. They had a blast while IJ and I struggled to make sure the rope didn't get caught in the prop.. It is fun to watch IJ in 90 degree heat wrestle with a wet rope and attempt to lift the kids in and out of the water without falling in himself.. Meanwhile I had to dodge all the Jet ski trying to jump the wake that we where creating and hopefully keep the idiots on the lake away from my kids if they feel off the tube.. Mission accomplished kids lived and IJ and I managed to lose 3lbs in sweat per hour.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newcastle_Brown_Ale
The good news is the stress of driving the boat and combating the 90 heat allowed me and IJ to put down a number of beers that truly amazed me.. It is hard to describe how good Newcastle really if you haven't had it please drink a cold one and you will understand this ramble.. Ohh it is a rich ale that doesn't fill you up and really allows you to drink plenty of them without feeling bloated. (I am already bloated looking but I don't enjoy the feeling of bloated). So each day after we where down fighting the boat,kid,wife, and we enjoyed more than a few cold Newcastle.. I won't call them beer because that just doesn't do them justice..

BS came up with his family on 3rd and told us that he would bring up some New Castle.. This is shouldn't be tough to calculate and since his wife and kids seem very bright so I assumed BS would have the wherewithal to calculatea how many bottle we would need for the day.. But his calculations made me seem bright and if you have had read any of these posts its easy to tell that is from true.. When you bring up bring New Castle for a day on the water and your friends are peanbutter sandwich short of 1/4 ton you should calacuate your bottles per lbs properly. Well apparently the people of Turtle Lake think England is town north Danbury that you get to by taking YY to AB and cross over to 41 15/16 street and hang a left on UU no W and it should be on the West side of Easbound county Road JM.. So we where unable to get any more New Castle other than two that BS brought for us to pour in an glass and share.. (hence the bitterness). Well other than the new castle fiasco the weekend was complete with BS and his great family..

Jottings
Gardy through the twins game last night.. You can't start that lineup and expect to beat a softball team.. Shannon Stewart is a very good hitter but his day's in the outfield have to be kept to a minumum.. And he should not be playing when Ford is playing center.. Maybe we need to pay hunter.. The outfield just isn't the same without him.. Tiffee is not a Major league talent bring somebody else up.. Wow is Justin Mornea hitting the ball hard it is fun to watch a power hitting in the Twins line up.. I thought he would take longer to develop I was wrong.. We have to pay Mike James more than the mid level exception and he is hated by his team in Toronto.. Is this sum weird joke where we are trying to field a team of guys under 6'3' what are they doing.. I know they are trying to listen to KG but scouting talent is not his job.. McFail is an idiot.. How good would Ben Wallace have looked with KG.. That was a good move by the Bulls maybe spent too much but he can guard anyone in the NBA…


Movies
Hey watched the missing on DVD it was pretty good western if you are looking for DVD this summer 2 out of 4 baldies.
Superman is good. It was a fun watch.. The story moved along nicely the affects where amazing and it seemed fresh and new.. If you have kids they will love it.. 3 out 4 baldies.(If your bald you will get a lot of looks while going to this movie man I hate being bald).


IT is What IT IS

Life 02

This is not about sports not about anything other than pure Joy.
I am going to make a short story long because I can and it is needed.. Just to give you some background information my oldest son is an amazing kid that just so happens to have difficulty doing a lot of "normal" things but nothing ever dampers his spirit or his love of life(DD)..
DD has always loved playing sports and has always persuaded my wife and I to sign him up for sports even when we think it wouldn't be in his best interest. (This is my opinion and I am completely wrong on this but I always try to put my kids in situations where they can succeed and that will give them self confidence).. Well throughout those rules when you have a kid that can rise above the situation and he can determine what is "successful" and what give him self confidence.. DD has really been practicing for baseball this whole spring he is constantly asking me to pitch to him in the lawn and I can never refuse my kids when they want to play any sport. Well his improvement this year has been amazing he is able to hit a large percentage of balls pitched to him when it is just our family at home.. So he was really excited when baseball began.. In fact he was so excited about playing that he talked his good friend into playing with him even though he not played much Tball or baseball..

Well the season started and DD has not missed a practice or a game or his own practices in our front yard with or without his parents help.. DD was fortunate enough to have a coach that really understands what baseball at this age is all about.. Wow this is really getting too long but what the heck… Well DD has a had a Rondell White like stretch where he has struggled to make contact at all when he is pitched to in a game situation. But what makes this kids amazing (despite his poor parenting) is that when he strikes out for the third,fourth or fifth time in the game he gets a little frustrated right at the plate but before he can turn and face his team and his "home crowd". He smiles and hand his helmet to the next kid and give his teammates a high five.. So each at bat as the season progresses the people that come to the game keep cheering for DD louder and louder with nothing but positive comments and he always returns the cheers with his million dollar smile..

So Cut to last night
It is a beautiful night for baseball or just living life. DD is so happy that his Grandpa and Grandma are at the game that he can hardly contain his happiness while playing.. So on his second at bat he makes contact and fouls the ball off pretty good.. Before taking the next pitch he stops and wheels around to flash his smile that he had HIT the ball which in itself makes it worth the 2 hours we sit watching these practices and games night after night.. Well he strikes out but he feels great about making contact.. Well on his next at bat he makes contact Twice and we are rewarded with the same smile each time. Well he now has one pitch left to hit it in play and the crowd senses that DD might just be able to hit it so they begin to cheer louder than ever for him..( I am ready to pass out with worry for him and happiness for him at the same time) Well all his practice pays off when the next pitch his thrown mighty DD at the bat makes contact with the pitch and the ball is in play.. Well if the crowd could they would have collectively picked up DD and ran with him to first but they didn't need to he was determined to make it there himself.

Safe
He was safe at first having beat out the throw from the third basemen.. Well with two outs everyone was excited to have DD at first but also it was a close game and they needed his run to score. So each time one of DD's teammates hit the ball the crowd and team would ROAR run DD run and run he did.. He was safe at second he was safe at third.. And now he was next to the crowd and his team and they where screaming for him to score.. When the ball was hit I could do was yell SLIDE he really didn't need to but there is nothing better than sliding home.. Well DD was running as soon as the ball was hit I don't know if it was my excitement or what but all I could see was Teeth and Dust as he ran toward home and laid down a perfect (perfect in so many ways) slide.. DD was safe at HOME

JOY
The whole team rushed out to great him and pat him on the helmet and give him high fives returning all of his high fives that he has been giving all year round.. DD relished all the cheers and high fives and ran to see his family.. I thought I had done some pretty cool stuff in my sports career but nothing could hold a candle to what DD did this night. He gave everybody a reason to cheer not for winning or losing but for the joy of living life.. DD's coach came by shortly after DD and looked at me and DD's family and said what everybody was feeling.. That is why we are out here.. I thanked him as I choked up and tried not to take anything away from this moment that was DD's.. I said yes but really this was not about sports this was about one "not normal" flat out amazing kid..

Have a great 4th
Heavy OUT..

Cash Considerations

I am ashamed of myself
I Tivo'd the entire draft and watched the entire broadcast. I watched 4 hours in an hour but I still am not proud of myself.. Judging talent in the NBA draft must be incredibly difficult.. It seems that every announcer had a different opinion on who they would take.. If you are picking teams in a pickup game it is pretty easy.. You try and get a guy that makes your team better period.. You want a guy that wants to shoot and be the guy in the offense.. My lack of ability as a basketball player makes me appreciate that.. It is so much easier to get involved in the game if you have guys on the team that know when to shoot and pass and are consistent when they do it.. You know when player A gets the ball and he is open from 15-20 he is going to shoot and you can start positioning for the rebound it is just that simple.. If they really liked Randy Foye that was a hell of risk letting him fall and drafting someone to trade with for cash considerations.. Why don't they tell you the dollar amount.. I think the Wolves best second round pick they sold for 13 dollars.. Idiots they have a team with little to know talent and they take a guy and sell him for cash and another year of waiting for a 2nd rounder.. That just tells you how dumb McFail is.
As Twolves fan this thought kept going through my head. "The Twolves and Bucks have swapped picks" we got starbury and the Bucks got Ray Allen who the heck was ray allen.. Man was that a bad move for the Wolves where would be if we had kept Ray Allen man that hurts.. My other thought is I would rather that we didn't draft a player that is compared to a former Twolf guard.. He is a lot like Chauncey Billups.. Great next thing we will be saying that he has great feet like Felton Spencer.. He takes it to the hoop like Gerald glass.. He plays defense like Doug West.. He is a great athlete like Endi Ebe (Can't spell it don't care to talk about him).. I could go on and on.. He has arches like Michel Williams. He is tough inside like Rasho.. He drives to the basket like terrible brandon. (I still like the Wolves just don't know if I can take much more futility..

Gay
I really wanted Rudy Gay because of his afletic ability but apparently McFail knows more about hoop players than Jerry West.. You can say what you want about Portland but they are revamping there team and did what they had to get the players they wanted.. But hey I am sure KG loves the fact the Wolves got Cash Considerations. Can Cash Considerations drive to the hole make get a rebound or play defense.. Well that is it for the Wolves.. They got the player that is a great fit for their team.. That is like saying these pants are a great fit for me that doesn’t change the fact I have a huge ass..
Do you think Cash Considerations can play with his back to the basket or has a great NBA body..
THUD
They need to get rid of BS favorite guy THUD and play Jaric of the bench and try get a guy that can run the floor and score on the wing.(Rudy Gay). I think the Wolves could get Kmart for nothing.. Then we could have matching afletic players with bad knees at the 2 and 3.. Can Mauer play the point.. Wow what a franchise I love the Wolves and will always watch them but they need to gut the mgmt team and get a fresh start.. Ticket this will be your last year with the wolves.. It is not your fault that your GM failed your team and this state..
The Twins may not win this year or next but they are cheap organization that develops talent and has developed into a pretty consistent winner.. The pups could learn a lot from that..

Tooo Happy Today to Blog Much

Twins Won
Wolves Haven't made a stupid draft choice..
I haven't ate 3000 calories.
Will post bitterly after the wolves draft..

Sorry

Ok.. The clock is ticking

Large
If you have the stomach for this go here http://www.deathclock.com/ Not Good I should have dead been a few years ago.. So hey the rest of my life is gravy.. Ohh with a little KFC chicken in a bowl with some mashed potatoes.. Oh that is taken already.. I biked 12 miles last night in lycra bike pants.. I hope no one planned on eating dinner after they drove behind me for a second or so.. It wasn't pretty but it did ease the transition of my bike and me being fused together.. (yuck that makes me sick..)


It is time to talk sports (IJ please skip this section)
The wolves draft is tomorrow and I had to listen to the Mayor on the fan in hopes that he can help McFail draft somebody that is going to win games and keep KG here.. It was weird they have completely changed the thought from last year.. We need to get young and athletic to compete in the NBA today.. Now Hoiberg is saying they need to get older to provide leadership in the locker room..(How about someone that can rebound and play defense) They have a coach that does not know what type of team he wants to have and a GM that changes his mind as wind blows.. Ok enough negative stuff. I am hoping they trade this pick and move down in the draft and pick up a veteran and lower first round pick.. If we could someone like chauncey to come in and step up his play like he did with the pistons and then get lucky enough to find someone to compliment Kevin in the low block.. I think they could maybe build on somethingÂ… A quick rumor from my close personal friend SW
(Rashad McCants' micro-fracture surgery should mean the Wolves are looking for a swingman who can play sooner than later. They'd rather get their hands on Roy, but since all signs are pointing to him being gone, Gay makes sense here. I've received some interesting emails from "folks in the know" (or so they say) and word on the street is that Kevin Garnett may be traded for Jermaine O'Neal or Paul Pierce. Either of those deals would be so big that it's almost hard to imagine the teams involved actually working out a deal, but it could easily happen.
Garnett has been very quiet on his future, but if he goes to Kevin McHale and says he's done in Minnesota, McHale will be forced to act.
And if he stays, Gay should be a nice complement for KG and Ricky Davis.)

Why has nobody ever said that guy has a programmers body.. He can type with without looking at his hands and has an excellent right clicking abilities.. And he has great game when is head up on the monitor..



Books
Everything is Illuminating
Jonathan Safran Foer
This book is so odd, funny "illuminating",brilliant, and just a plain great read.. It makes me fill normal when I read a book like this.. This style that book is written is original (not tough when have read the number of books I have) but once you get it.. Its story telling that you just can't be beat..

Music
Norah Jones almost makes me not hate chick singers.. Maybe not I had to skip ahead on my pod half way through her album Feels like home.. I still hate chick singers..

Go Twins..

As the Stomach Turns

Kevin McFail
I really like that one.. I had a relaxing weekend watching the Twins beat the hapless Cubs.. I hope they never win anything it is the only thing that makes me want to like that team.. They are going nowhere on the other hand I think the twins have the new plan in place to play as many young guys as they can.. I am ok with it since Detroilet and the Sox are just so damn good.. I am going to quote a infamous Minnesota coach "enjoy the season" it is what it is… They are fun to watch..

Fat Update

I am still eating as healthy as I can and have slowed the growth of my gut to two inches a year.. Sort of like the melting of the glaciers caused by global warming .. My stomach is increasing due to global eating. (that was too easy).. I looked at myself in a few pictures this weekend and I really can't believe what I look like.. I went to look at myself in the mirror.. Yep I am really that old fat and bald.. Well that just a fact.. Moving on..
Just a point.. When you reach a period in your life when you would rather have a white T shirt on then see your self without it brushing your teeth in the morning.. Probably need to toss in a salad..

Wolves
They are team going nowhere looking forward to the draft where they are going nowhere fast.. I am delaying blogging on this since it makes me so damn angry.. They are in need of some vision on the vision of the franchise.. They need to keep Kevin to maintain there season ticket holders but really they are wasting his abilities here.. And really it is just hard to watch them flail around but I still will..

Don't hate the stomach hate the food

Two Movies

Nacho Libre 1.5 baldies (It was tough for him to work within the enviroment of this movie.. I am afraid Jack just can't play a character you keep wanting him to bust out and be himself. He didn't do that enough in this movie.. )

Click 3.5 baldies (IJ and saw this with no expectations what so ever.. It helped this movie it is just a really solild comedy and a nice simple story line that delivers the same old story but in a new and creative way.. I am starting to like sandler more and more each movie.. I really like spanglish and nobody liked that either.. I guess I just like his style..

I know this is half a homo but I am listening to Sarah Mclachlan and enjoying it but I keep think have rubbing sharp objects across my wrists.. Wow her voice is just so haunting.. Dan Bern is right I hate chick singers..

Bitter Today Welcome SW

Ahh just finished a cinnamon roll from panera bead (Not too sweat kinda crunchy with a nice layer of sugar on top) with a full city Columbia from Dun Bros(Nice middle of the road coffee with a real smooth aftertaste).. I eat because I'm unhappy I am unhappy because I eat you know the rest.. But I need to vent today.. My wife likes to ask me opinions on what things we should do with this house and then when I give my opinion she ignores me and does what she wants anyway..(Which I really don't care but why did you ask my opinion when you could care less. Anyway she decided that we should repaint my eldest's room to make it an older kids room and ignore the 4 other rooms in the house that really need painting.. Well if that didn't get me going the fact room contained a wallpaper border which I said I would not help with if she wanted to put it up.. (I ended up putting it up as well) But I absolutely would not be the one to take in down because I know what a nightmare that will be.. Well watching her struggle for two straight days I was persuaded to help her with it.. I won't get into to much detail but a steamer was rented and wasn't really used until 9:00(after playing hoops for two hours) last night and again at 6:00 this morning.. Now that my hands are sufficiently burned and I am quite bitter she believes the drywall is destroyed enough for me to begin patching the entire room where the wallpaper and scrapping has left holes on every square inch of the room.. MMM this will be the last time we put up any wallpaper (or at least until my wife thinks she likes it again).


I proved again last night that I do not have any Basketball ability.. I did not make a shot in 2 hours of play and maybe got a rebound a game.. I am the white round bald version of Olowakandi. Seriously I disgust myself.. I think I am going to have to start playing tennis or something that doesn't make me look completely old and non afletic that is going to be tough..

The Twins lost but the still played well. I think this team is going to be solid for a few years.. I hate to say this but Justing M. is starting to grow on me It is nice to have a couple of guys on the team where if you make a mistake the ball is gone..


I really need topics for my Thursday rant..


I think I will do a Twolves ramble this afternoon or Friday.. I am going to have to defer to a couple of great basketball minds.. BS and SW (Shoots better than the Wolves) "a close personal friend and former standout basketball player out of Hamline" Holler if you hate NBA but I am going to post a few articles of interest if BS and SW recommend them..
Hey that angry basketball guy that works for ESPN with his own show... Does he ever post the transcripts of the show.. He talked about KG for quite awhile last night.. Help me out BS or SW.

Don't hate the food hate the weight..

Dheavy and Uranus

Wow. What an amazing athlete Wade was in this playoffs.. It was amazing to watch him play its like he is in a category all to himself.. I could care less that he is supposed to be this really quiet down to earth guy because usually those guys end up coming off the bench and are really good shooters.. In short they can't play defense and better shoot well because that is only thing you do in basketball that is truly afletic..
Enough Sports.. Wait a minute.. Wow Djustin hit a bomb last night.. 8 in a row they still need a miracle..

Eclipse and Bruce

I wanted to get back to this.. Last week IJ and I went to see Bruce and the "Bob Seeger Sessions" more on that later. BS went with his wife and tried to distance himself from us at the show which normally is good move since IJ and I are standing together we create our own gravitational pull. Well anyway a few years when I was at West BS introduced me to some of Bruce's solo acoustic folk stuff. At first I was hesitant I have never really cared for the sound of the Estreet band just didn't appeal to me.. I might be the only person in the US that doesn't like it.. But I really liked all of his acoustic music.. Well anyway IJ was raving about this new album called the Seeger sessions which I can sum up as some folk guy in the 60's who made an album of some old American folk songs.. Well Bruce decided to do it again 40 some years later… It turns out the album is unusual as anything I have ever listened to.. It just a cool combination of brass,violin,guitar,accordion,steel guitar,etc. the music just gets to you on weird level.. It is one of my favorite albums of all time. So I figured I figure it was worth the 100 or so to see Bruce perform.. Well they are doing this weird ticketing stuff for people on the main floor to avoid the scalpers to make a long story longer no one knows what is going and you pretty wait for them to let you in and you make the best of the situation.. Well IJ are cagey veterans of standing concert's and we know the value of having anything to lean out so we took a spot on this rail where approx 20 rows back.. (Awesome view) Well we had to sit down until the concert started which gave us the opportunity to listen to this security guard that was protecting the gate.. He started telling everyone that sometimes bruce comes out Bob seeger before the concert starts and plays with his band.. It was killing the "true" fans around us which made it even better.. This guy stood there for 3 hours and came up with a different reason why these people where sitting where they where.. Man people are dumb but remember the two great planets where sitting on the ground when all these people where coming behind us.. Well we can hear the people behind remarking about how great this spot was.. I took this opportunity to yell out a series of stupid questions to further antagonize the crowd like who is opening for Bruce at this concert… Well Uranus(IJ) is taking this in and is pleased that most of them are under 5'6 and are unaware that we are as tall as we are wide. Well about 5 minutes before the concert begins IJ thinks it will be more dramatic if we rise in unison and block out any viewing angles from people behind us have let alone light from the stage.. I take joy in the sound that was made it was the sort of gulping sigh when they realized there night was destroyed.. Well anyway I now know why Bruce is so successful.. The concert sounded amazing it was 2.5 hours people who sounded amazing and gave the impression they where having a blast.. Bruce is a true performer and entertainer and I would happily see him again.. Maybe even with the Estreet band..

Ohh Man I just had a Bruegers bagel .. Everything bagel with chives and onion it was fresh and amazing.. Why can't that be good for me.. I still need some topics for Ramble Thursday..
Fat out..

M5 Life 01

Life..
Went out to Dinner with DJ (Denver J) and M5 on Saturday.. DJ has kids a lot younger than mine but is going through the struggles that all Dads have at that age but he appears to have a good handle on it but it brought back memories of the struggles I had to go through. M5 appears to be using the L word so he is boring me at the moment.. But we where recalling the day when he introduced me to a "girl" he was dating.. I think we will call her spud for reason that will become abundantly clear. She is what I would call a tall little person.. I am not kidding she was maybe 4'8 oh I am sorry when you are a women that is under 5'4 you need to used fractions so she was maybe 4'8 and 1/8.. It was just sad to see the look on DJ and my face trying to hide our disappointment.. Sure it was fun to think of umpa lumpas and wonder what kind of adult women's clothing she found in the toddler department.. Do they say petite by the way I guess petite stands for short.. So even though you can measures there arse in yards they are still considered petite.. I am thinking they could up with new classes like yes do you these pants in Short and Squatty or can I get this dress in tall but bloated.. Ohh That’s not good.. I maybe should stop.. How about Big and Disgusting.. Stop please add more if you have ideas in the comments section.

Sports
Hockey WHO CARES.. My son(4) asked me what I thought about Hockey I told him I hated it.. I think that sums it up.. He said why my response was simple I couldn't grow a mullet anymore I couldn't find any Dale Jr shirts that would fit me.. And I can spell Wednesday.. Wow I really don't like it.. Twins are on a hot streak.. I hope it ends so I can rip on them.. Thank the Mgmt for the off-season acquisitions nice way to kill a season.. See Ya Soon Rondell..
Hey I need a good topic for Thursday.. Give me anything and I will try and ramble about it
Big fella out..

Great to be out of training..

Dad
Ok.. Need to ramble for a variety of reasons.. I had a great fathers gift my oldest was off to camp and I had never seen him so happy and excited. Given all the issues that he has to deal with a daily basis having him be that happy made me feel as good as I felt in a long time. (As a Dad that is good as it gets)

Baseball parent update..

I went to my oldest game and they needed someone to pitch to the kids so my wife volunteered me.. My wife doesn't take into consideration the fact that entire lower half of my body is a seething wound of poison ivy bubbles.. It really felt good to have a mixture of sweat and sand rubbing on the bubbles between my bubbled pussy toes.. A at least I made up for it by striking my son out 5 times..

Twins Sports Etc..
They are quite a roll I would like to rip on them but nothing really to say other than they are nice team that still won't make the playoffs.. Vikings I am still predicting them to fail this year (This coach is really arrogant) apparently a team that won like 5 games last year we are willing to make their practice squad players as starters on our team ( I believe we had a better record last year).. He is one of those guys that feels the need to get my guys in here and my system is going to work he has never been a head coach of a high school team.. Anyway as soon as they win two games I will be drinking the Kool Aid on the system and hoping for a contract extension for him.. Umm the twolves like Lenny Bird (Adam Morrison) I liken his game to Dwayne Wade.. I don't I just would like there to be one time where they compare a white player to a black guy.. Or vice versa..
I will rant more later
Out

Sorry for the Training this week

Don't give up yet

By Mark Simon, ESPN Research Don't count the Twins out just yet in the American League. They may not be in the hunt for the AL Central, but they can hang in the wild-card race if they continue to get wins against quality foes like the Red Sox, who they've beaten the last two days.
The positive signs from young talent, like Jason Kubel and Francisco Liriano, are very encouraging. And if Brad Radke can show the form he did on Wednesday night, the Twins will have a top threesome in their pitching rotation that is pretty impressive.
One thing that Minnesota will have to improve upon, though, is an 8-18 mark against divisional foes. The Twins are a very respectable 20-15 against the rest of the American League.

So little time so much to ramble about..

I had lunch last week with another person that I will reference with this blog.. The other names where easy and descriptive. So here is my thinking on him with hmm lets just call 7/8 no can't use that anymore, No game no can't use that anymore, I drive a BMW no that is too generic when you.. No game.. crap can't use that anymore.. How about still on the market.. No can't use that.. How about slow game.. No that has been used.. I can't use anything that he might interpret as me being jealous so he drives an M5.. Hmm that is it we now have BS,IJ,M5.. By the way M5 gave me permission to post anything I would like to post about his life.. I live vicariously through him anyway.. But that needs much more time and needs to stand on its own..

People hate my sports but I am doing it for me so ff them anyway I always cave so I will keep them to minimum..
A quick real life crappy moment..

Was at my son's baseball game last night and the three coaches have concocted the idea that at age 8 you should be specializing on positions in baseball.. They do not rotate players throughout the game.. The basically put the three coaches sons in the infield and the kids that won't complain wherever they choose.. I could really care less but baseball sucks so bad at that age I can't fathom playing outfield for 2 straight games let alone 2 straight innings.. I don't normally do this but enough is enough so I waited to talk to the coach after the game.. I waited until the game was over (yeah they won but only 3 players ever touched the baseball not good) I talked to coach all by himself.. Well as soon as I walked up to talk to him he was already taken a back I am not sure why because other than I look a little scary.. I just asked why he was not rotating all the players like the rest of the entire league.. His first answer was that he rotates them each game.. Other than that was a complete lie I said are you going to play 15 games(they are not) Then he said well half of the kids will get hurt in the infield( nice cover).. Then he said there is another team that is doing it(whatever).. I said the goal of this league is to teach the kids and enjoy the games no one is going to learn by standing in the out field for 2 straight hours
(My kid never complained by the way he just is starting to hate playing baseball) After he said the part about half the kids would get hurt and his face turning red I decided to not make a scene and said that I would hope he would consider rotating the kids more frequently.. He waited until I was walking infront of all the parents and decided to yell out that maybe I should try coaching I responded that I had coached which seemed to fire him up more since he apparently wanted to make the situation worse. I went to pack up our stuff with my wife who was contemplating how we where going to separate our assets in the divorce.. He then walks over and tells me that there is only 13 players on the team.. I said you lost me when you decided to holler out infront of all those people.. I would rather not argue with you and he walked away.. So it should be a fun year of baseball..

Gotta get back to training

heavy OUT

Bruce and Eclipse

I have training all week but i will attempt short blogs each days since the site is working now..


I will try and post at lunch or first break..

Late Post..

The admin part of blogger was down yesterday this was the post from yesterday

Finally played softball last night since the hammy problem.. It was just great to do something afletic for a change.. We struggled as a team but where 1-1.. I don't like to beat a dead horse but man the twins are really disappointing there was sum pretty amazing stats in this whole road trip but the one from last night was sick.. The Twins had around 10 hits as a team but Mauer and Kubel accounted for 7..(That's not good).

This is just my thoughts but I really would like to see the Twins focus on developing talent.. Gardy decides to shred Morneau for a bad at bat (I don't know how he could distinguish the good from the bad with him) instead of focusing on the fact that they are getting NO veteran leadership whatsoever for the hitters.. Stewart a solid professional hitter can't seem to stay healthy and has 0 effect on our hitters and Rondell White they keep saying is a great clubhouse guy he better be.. Thats like saying that a girl has a great personality because if she doesn't well you get the picture.. (She would be a two tripper)


Please Post Comments for ramble tomorrow.. Thursday is going to readers blog day.. It would be great to do it on something that not sports related..

Late Post..

The admin part of blogger was down yesterday this was the post from yesterday

Finally played softball last night since the hammy problem.. It was just great to do something afletic for a change.. We struggled as a team but where 1-1.. I don't like to beat a dead horse but man the twins are really disappointing there was sum pretty amazing stats in this whole road trip but the one from last night was sick.. The Twins had around 10 hits as a team but Mauer and Kubel accounted for 7..(That's not good).

This is just my thoughts but I really would like to see the Twins focus on developing talent.. Gardy decides to shred Morneau for a bad at bat (I don't know how he could distinguish the good from the bad with him) instead of focusing on the fact that they are getting NO veteran leadership whatsoever for the hitters.. Stewart a solid professional hitter can't seem to stay healthy and has 0 effect on our hitters and Rondell White they keep saying is a great clubhouse guy he better be.. Thats like saying that a girl has a great personality because if she doesn't well you get the picture.. (She would be a two tripper)


Please Post Comments for ramble tomorrow.. Thursday is going to readers blog day.. It would be great to do it on something that not sports related..

Perspective

If your looking for Humor please skip reading this post.


I am little off today.. Not because the Twins didn't play and not because Hoops wasn't on.. I just need to figure out a way get healthy which includes losing a ton of weight.. I know these sound like excuses but I am just not motivated to work out or eat less.. I really don't need a new diet other than eating less on every meal because I do eat the right stuff its just that I eat too much of it. I have so many things that I enjoy doing in my life I just hate taking time away from them to work out.. I am not one of those people that is motivated and wake up early in the morning and go running. When I run everything on my body hurts starting with my feet.. Which I think would be better if I wasn't so damn heavy.. I just think it is so sad that I really have to get healthy or I will die and I won't do it.. I laugh about it but really with my family history each day I stay this way I am cutting time off my life.. I know I come off as a negative pessimistic SOB but I really like living.

I am starting to have the same symptoms that my brother had when his health started to fail him (My wife has even noticed not good).. I wonder if I am destined for the same fate. I think that I am is worse, I know what can happen and I don't do anything about it. Why am I such an idiot.. I am really cutting my veins open here but I need to do everything I can to change who I unfortunatelyley I don't think I have an eating disorder I think it is case of loving to eat and when something is good more has to be better.. Well that is pretty depressing I am not sure why I post this or anything I post but I just feel better after I do.

If I don't figure out a way to change who I am I will die..
On that note HeavyD out..

Two Movie Weekend

life is Good I was able to make some time to attend..

Wait a minute... I am listening to Dan Bern Seventy Three.. And I am laughing to myself.. That guy is insane.. He basically compares contact lenses to steroids it is as good as it gets in that if you do anything that enhances your self that is not natural it should not be allowed.. The man just loves Barry Bonds..

Ok back on subject I saw X-men Last standing. Just a popcorn movie if you can suspend your life for a few hours and enjoy the ride while drinking a cold diet coke and Popcorn with way too much salt on it thanks to IJ. Well the move had a ton of special effects that I really enjoyed and the story line was pretty cool.. (have you seen the Nacho Libre trailer he gets flipped by a bull and it looks like the worst special effects I have ever seen) The movie being what it is I give it 6 bald heads.(on a scale of 1 to 10 it is going to be tough to get close to a 10 with me)

Suz and I went out for dinner and movie on Saturday.. We have this little Mexican restaurant in RF that is really pretty good. After that we went to the Break Up... I can't stand seeing movies on a weekend I can't stand all the noise and having to sit next to anyone is the kiss of death for me enjoying a movie.(I Don't like People). In fact IJ and I sit one seat apart with the popcorn in the middle. I think sitting one seat apart makes us think we look less gay but we still look like a supersized Gay couple but whadya gonna do. Back to Movie.. Suz and I don't get to go out much so when I see movies with her I am always a little biased since we are usually having a fun evening and the movie is just part of it. (Make A note my first positive statement in this blog) Anyway the movie is a classic Date movie but I went anyway since I think Vince Vaughn is hilarious and Jennifer Anniston is not too bad too luck at.. The movie had some really fun Moments and I think anytime that Vince and Joe Favero are on the scene together I can't help but laugh.. I wouldn't rush out an see it but it a lot better than most of the mindless crap coming out in theaters lately.. I give it the same 6 bald heads..


I can't talk about the Twins today I am still mourning the loss of this season..
LATER

HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVYYYYYYYYD

I am a Nowitzness

Don't hate the Playa

I am not sold on the whole Dirk is greatest thing since Larry Bird I have to compare him to a white because apparently that is important if you’re an nba analyst .. He still can't be defense hence the lack of a D in the nowitzness. He finally is playing a style of play that suits him and is surrounded by talent that compliments him. (I'm sure the Kandi man as real complimentary to KG) Speaking of the wolves remember how bad the wolves tried to retain Rasho and wow what a great player he has become with the coaching at the Spurs.. McHale is out of his mind on what it takes to build a franchise. If KG is such a versatile player he should get guys that play a wide open style and let KG adjust his style.. Considering that to his peers he is at best the 7th best forward in the league (Didn't make the all nba 3rd team).. Enough Bitterness


Dunn Bros coffe is tremendous mixed with a Breugers Denver Bagel sandwich.. (Priceless) Go Boof Go Boof looked pretty good last night just made a few mistakes for dingers see that is the difference with good teams if you make a mistake they take you deep.. The Twins either foul it straight back and shake there head that they should have hit that pitch or get a single.. But they "went with the pitch" Man I am sick of that.. It is like the West Coast reference in the NFL.. Why does rondell keep playing? Why is lew batting lead off? Why is Mauer not moving to 3rd base and hitting lead off.

Gotta see a movie soon.. The summer weather is great I hope I can stay off the DL to enjoy it..
Fat Guy Out

Ok.. Another Day in Paradise

Riding the bus in today I had what I consider a catastrophe (Like skipping Lunch). Another bus in our area broke down and some 30 people had to get on my bus to ride into St. Paul.. (Apparently I own the bus) Well I have a lot of issues that are bus related but most of them revolve around me being the last person that people will sit by when they get on the bus.. There literally could be a guy covered in his own body fluids sitting in the seat behind me and people will chose to sit with him..(I think they figure at least he won't be spilling out of the "one person" seat and crowding me( It makes for an easy barometer on the bus you just look and see if anyone is sitting next to me and that determines if there are any seats left.(And this in the morning I don't even smell yet).. Well back to the full bus.. I am sitting there and the guy covered in his own fluids decides to plop down next to me (he even checked if there was another spot to sit). Well I am sitting there and suddenly I feel a little bug on me.. I know your thinking like I am sort of water buffalo that the birds live on his back but I generally don't have any organisms that are visible resting on my skin.. Than I start to notice they are hopping from him onto me and It is all I can do to not freak out on this guy.. So that is how I started my day..



Hoops

Flip lives another day.. I just don't think Detriolet cares about winning or losing anymore that just look tired and frustrated by Miami.. I am glad they won so I can watch them play another night but I think this is over when they go to Miami.. How old is Gary Payton man he looks terrible.. How come all the white guys in the nba have bad hair? Except Wally but he really doesn't count since he couldn't get a rebound in the WNBA..

Twins

Liriano just looks tough his ball has so much movement on it that he really can just throw his fastball and he can get hitters out.. Did anyone see Denny Hocking trying to get a job broadcasting.. I think a good start would be to be somewhat likable loose the platinum blonde look and lose 30 lbs..(I know how easy that can be). When are they going to move Mauer to 3rd? When is Byleven going to stop saying Paptisa?

Movies
I will start posting movie reviews when ever I can IJ out of the house again.
It Is What It Is.

Get Fat or Die Trying
HeavyD

Last day of May

Sorry so late today.. I had a bunch of problems at work..

First of all why is it so hot already.. (insert fat joke here) I just got my tickets to Bruce from the "Introverted J" I am pretty excited but a little concerned about whether or not I will get to sit down for the show.. A couple of years ago "Introverted J" and "Bald Skinny" went to a Steve Earle concert at first Ave.. Well we got there early and stood for what seemed like 3 days instead of a 3 hours.. (I need to invent inserts or something for fat people.) Your feet get a little compressed when you are steak dinner over an 1/8 ton. Well anyway my back still hurts to this day when I have to stand for a long period of time so I really hope they have nice seats at the show.. You know ticketraper should give you a seat for the 20$ handling charge or whatever they call it to have a website with ticket info on it and and email with the ticket attached.. Why can't we stop that fnn monopoly.. Ok BS tells me that Bruce puts on a great show and he is usually right.


Twins why do they do this to me.

So being gone a few days and seeing that the twins swept the mariners I was looking forward to wathing the series with "Earth North America United States California Orange Count Anaheim Los Angels golden state Angels" I really could care less who they are playing for.. Why don't you just call them the Benjamin Angles since that is who they are really playing for anyway.. I can't stand California nothing appears real or normal there including there teams and Governeror. Back on subject: As I am hot swap watching the Pheonix game and the Twins.. I just start watching the location that the Twins pitchers are trying to hit.. Baker has lost it.. Mauer was putting the glove about 5 inches above the dirt and he was putting the pitch right in the wheel house about every 3rd pitch.. Baker has good movement on the ball but eventually you are going to hit if he is putting right down the shoot.. I would use Baker out of the Pen he is just not ready to be a starter. Why has gardy not given up on Rondell White he looks like Marco Jaric at the point completey lost.. (Good thing we didn't give up much for Marco)


Style of Play

I just love the up tempo style that Pheonix coaches it really pressures other teams and takes them out of any rythm and really makes the games fun to watch.. Nash is a really good guard but if he was in any other system he would be just nice a player.. I look at the lineup that they send out there and it really appears to be a joke but they all have drank the Kool Aid on this system and really work with it.. (Speaking of wich I am sure getting Wittman back is going to cure the wolves ails.. Only if he can shoot and defend down low). The Wolves have a "system" that no understands or has the ability to play.. I feel like that Mchale has the wolves so mired in quicksand that there is no hope for them.. I can't think of any strategy to get them better short of starting over like an expansion franchise.. Can you get conditional picks for being really dumb..


Sorry So late..

I'm Fat oh I mean I am Back

I have a ton to say but I just need to get something out there I will blog more at lunch..

I have a quick question for everyone.. You can draft 2 players only right now from the current NBA players.. Who do you chose? I would go Lebron Dwade.. But I almost could go Kobe.. in there.. Maybe I should extend this to top 20 so I would have to start considering KG.. (Oh why so angry) .. Twins swept a series while I was away and lost a tough one last night but they pitched well.. Seriously I used to think it was kind of neat but can Lew ford get any dorkier of course everybody says he is a "computer guy" whatever that means but it just doesn't help the image of any IT guy.. Why couldn't they call Pujols a computer guy that would help..


Hey I have a sure fire way of healing a hammy.. Pile your self into the back of a king cab pickup for 14 hours.. (Boy that feels good) My only revenge was eating Big Mac's and letting my essence make the people up front sick.

Who should the Wolves draft? If they are drafting on need I think they should draft anyone that can shoot beyond 15 feet.. I will post more later..

Fat Man Out

I am going fishing for the weekend in the Dakota's.. Wish me luck...
I am sure I will have some good material after the weekend..
Something to ponder I am going to start ranking movies and other items..
I was thinking of like 5 baldies or 5 d's or different burgers QPC,DQPC.. What should I go with..
How about stars Oh I forget we don't have any in Minnesota sorry KG..

Pressure to be Who you are Not.

I am going to rant about this some today.. So keep checking back I am going to post more of these as they come to me.


Fishing

It is like you are not really a guy if you don't want to drive an insane amount of miles spend money that you don't have to catch fish. I am going fishing this weekend and I figure if I am lucky each fish that I will catch will cost me around 50 bucks. I don't mind fishing but I would rather just go out on our little lake by our cabin and catch some bass and northern for an hour or two with my sons and be back in time to relax at the cabin. Nope to be a guy you apparently love to drive across the country (at least gas is cheap!) to hopefully have nice enough weather to fish some 12 hours a day.. (Would it be bad if I read a book while fishing see you can't do that and still be considered a guys guy..) I am getting angry as I write about this.. (I will post more later)

Hunting

Mechanical

Special Request...

Ok I just had a large french roast from Dunn Bros matched perfectly with a cinnamon roll. That deep rich taste of the coffe matched with the soft creamy roll was just heaven.. I put Devils and Dust on the pod just to enrich all my senses at the same time.. They always tell you how good thin tastes well they didn't just have the experpience I had.. La Vita E' Bella

I have developed a new slogan for my self.(My apoligies to fity)

Get Fat or Die Tryin

TimberWolves lottery Pick Etc..

It is late and I am not proof reading this until the morning..

I know this is pathetic but I actually watched the ESPN broadcast of the NBA draft lottery..
I am not sure what is more pathetic the show or me watching it.. (Tivo'd no less) It is like every organization says let's get the stiffest guy we have in our organization dress him up in an expensive suit and let him stare into the camera like a fat guy watching a Hardees commercial.(Did you see the new Philly Cheese Steak Burger? I digress.. ) It is simply the driest thing I have ever seen. I was embaraased for everyone including the espn host who was really trying..
Who is the Mel Kiper of the NBA anyway?


It really tells a story of where the Wolves are at when we are throwing games that people are paying to watch at the end of the season (Not Many people) So that we get x number more chances to draft another "best player available" of the 10 or so guys that should play at 2 more years of college hoops.. But instead they get 3+ million to ride the pine for 2-3 years and maybe impress the coaches in practice so that they will have a chance at playing real minutes in a game. I really think they should stay in school and make 10+ million for a university that could care less about them.. It is a tough situation but if these stiff suits are dumb to keep paying millions on a hope they will get the next KG.. (It is killing the NBA) I would take the money and get your degree later.(Yeah right) If I was 20 had millions in my pocket I would go to college.. (Wow I am bitter tonight)

After the draft
The real teams start playing hoops.. Dwayne Wade is an impressive player he is just fearless and afletic.. What the heck is wrong with SHAQ or "Bio Disel". He is just lost out there in Riley's systems or maybe it is just Wallace what an athlete ("Not a basketball player though).. (I can't stop thinking about that burger) . I am sure I will be wrong about this but I really think Flips system is not going to work in the playoffs.. They live and die by the jumper and if they aren't making they lose.. (Case in Point the Cavs taking them to game 7) I hate being a wolves fan we have not future until we got the franchise.. I like McHale as a person but in any other city he would have out on the street when he orchestrated the Joe Smith fiasco let alone the Sam Cassell for Marko Jaric and a first round draft choice.. So each year we laugh at the suits but really that is all we really have.. The Wolves have the same chance of winning an NBA title as I have of getting under two bills.



Etc..

IPOD
I have no specific taste in music so if you would like to throw something out there I should listen to I will give it a shot.. I still can't get enough of Dan Bern I just like listening to his lyrics that are so off the wall yet catchy.. I used to hate the Boss but I can't stop listening to his new album it just never gets old.
As I type this def leppard is on Leno help me.. (I am going to type the rest of this with one arm)
This is really inside but "I think Kid Rock is genius" Craig Trepanier Trepanier Law)

My leg still hurts pretty bad It would be nice if my legs didn't have to move my 225 pound body around.. I was dreaming 225 just looks good I am quite sure I have put on a few lbs to my svelt 270 lb frame..

The Twins won..(Cuddy might just be emerging..)

I am not sure I should keep doing this blog thing but it seems to make me less bitter so I will keep it up..

Just a Note

I am going to post some pretty heavy stuff out here about my brother Chuck.. I am not sure why I am going to do it but I think I need to just get it off my chest.. So if it bothers you or annoys you please ignore these posts.. They are for me or anybody else who has lost someone close to them and feels like me.. OK..

Couple More Things

Why is everyone who bikes nowadays wearing these metrosexual matching skin tight outfits.
Is the wind savings really worth looking like that for a few hours.. (not that there is anything wrong with that). I am biking a little and I really am quite certain that if you wrap my back in spandex it is still going to make a pretty good windbrake..

Twins Finally get the stadium

I am just relieved that it is over.. Yeah I know they didn't get the perfect location and they didn't get the "roof" but who cares about the roof. If they could just put "Detroilet's" ballpark or Jacobs field here I will be ecstatic(short lived it if the Twins don't spend some money next year).. I really can't ramble on this anymore... (At least not today)

I have been given a few requests for items to ramble on about if you have any suggestions please feel free to post a comment..


I am going to post on the NBA playoffs over lunch... I can't go very far my hamstring but as usual I will find oh way to sustain my pristine shape..

Big Dumb and Stupid

I constantly amaze myself.. Every time I think I can't get any dumber I top myself. I was having a great day at my parents playing catch with my kids and I was just thinking even though I am shade over 250 I feel good physically. (I still don't look good) We where all sitting around watching "Boof" pitch a pretty good game when my nephew showed up..


Well after we went for a ride in his old MG that he is fixing up.. ( By the way I am not sure the Brits have thighs.. I thought about asking my Mom for some butter to get my thighs underneath the steering wheel..) So after the ride we where talking about what he was doing and he mentioned he was playing Hockey a couple days of week in the summer. Well due to my disgust with my Nephew for playing a sport that I can't stand .. I made some remark about watching playoff hockey on the WE channel or HGTV or whatever worthless channel the hockey playoffs where on. Anyway I challenged him to a 40yd dash in the front yard.. Man am I a dumbass..


To start he is exacltly half my weight and 20 yrs younger than me.. But apparently as my weight and age get bigger my IQ gets smaller and smaller. So I threw on some shoes and raced him.. (no stretching for me being a highly conditioned athlete and all) The ground was wet and I was tearing up the turf as I lost the first sprint..(I looked like Barbaro in more ways than I knew at the time)Well I figured it had to be the turf or something other than me losing 5 steps.. So I gave my body everything it had..(not much).

As I crossed the finish line(the last tree before the drainage field) I felt a weird ripping noise in my Right hamstring it hurt so bad that I sort of tried to stop quickly which caused me to flip over my head and land in the drainage area. So as I looked up covered in mud and wretching in pain I saw my sons looking at me with dissapointment. I tried to not cry even though my leg felt it had beeen severed.. It dawned on me I am old.. Ouch that hurt worse than the leg.. It looks like I screwed up my summer by trying to be something that I am not, An ATHLETE.

I am going to post a couple of times today.. I am really sore and bitter today..

Watched Way Too Much Hoop

As I sat in front of my TV for some 5 hours watching the NBA playoffs (My wife wasn't around) I forgot how much I enjoyed watching competitive NBA hoops.. The TimberWolves nearly sucked the NBA life out of me these past two seasons.. But I have decided that Kevin Garnett isn't really a superstar.. He is a great player but has many limitations most of which are around being great when it counts and the end of crucial games.. When I think of the year that the wolves made there run to the Western conference finals it wasn't Kevin making the great shot at the end to win the game it was Cassel or Spree or anybody besides Kevin.

So what should the wolves due.. Well if the NBA had the CBA that the NFL has I would cut him straight out and take the 20 some million he will make next year and buy some draft picks and one or two young free agents.. No matter how good we think Kevin is here in Minnesota if you put him on the team with Spurs or Cavs and Minus there superstars of Lebron and Duncan those teams would struggle to make the playoffs.

I think the rest of the NBA is agreeing with me when a guy leads the league in rebounds averages 20+ points and 5+ assists and he does not make the third team All NBA team.. This kills me to say this but if you had to draft anybody from any team regardless of age or attitude where would you pick Kevin..

Lets start naming names and you tell him if you would take kevin before them. Lebron,Kobe,Duncan,Shaq(age not a factor),Dirk,Amare,Wade,Howard(I'm reaching), Brand,Nash,Kidd, I would like to hear opinions on this one.

Kevin keeps looking for players(dogs) that are jerking the chain maybe he should look in the mirror and find one in himself..

Speaking of which I am jerking at the chain for a Pizza.. (I am carbing up for my walk this afternoon)

Out..